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Yes it's from a few days ago (from the Time 100 gala, the one where Rush Limbaugh thought Old Handsome Joe was drunk because he said Americans were resilient), but jesus how boring is today's news?


So here is Old Handsome Joe stealing Justin Timberlake's wife, Susan or something. And we invite you to caption it -- even though you guys are SO BAD AT CAPTION CONTESTS.

Seriously, we do not understand it. You are on the real the funniest, smartest commenters in the known universe, but as soon as the word "caption" is thrown at you, you turn into Teh. Worst.

Performance anxiety, we are guessing? Well pop yourselves a Mental Cialis and get down on it.

[NYMag]

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There are perks to being the only Harvard professor willing to shill for the Bush League Mussolini. Everyone else has to haul ass to the Fox studio and sit for hair and makeup. Not Alan Dershowitz! He just parks his laptop in Pee Wee's playhouse and Skypes in that rant. Is he even wearing pants? We hope never to find out!

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Donald Trump hasn't been very busy today, because he is a lazy ass who lives in the People's House on the People's Dime and he doesn't really want to work. Also it's way funner for him to stay in the White House residence in his underpants and live-tweet his Executive Time while he ignores his wife Melon.

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