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Why Do We Let The Black Panthers Teach Our Children Biology?

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  • Sonia-Maria Sotomayor loves to brag about how "ghetto" it was growing up in Mexico. Well this loaf of white bread has heard enough! Is Sonia's Best Friend Forever serving life in prison? Was Sonia's daughter stabbed in the chest with an enormous cardiac needle? No? Q.E.D. [American Thinker]
  • "Ultra liberal zealot" highschool teachers are known to pass out buckets of gummy worms and read If You Give A Moose A Muffin during nap time, which is why every American teenager sucks at Maths. But a brave Oakland charter school has dared to ask, "Would they still suck at Maths if we yelled at them and shaved their heads?" The answer might shock you! [Hot Air]


  • RedState shakes things up with a terrifying 2 second video of a blackfolk speaking without being spoken to! Don't worry though because a patriot reported the incident to the Justice Department. [RedState]

  • The National Archives misplaced a 2-terabyte external hard drive containing "sensitive data from the Clinton administration," prompting the Smithsonian to temporarily postpone the highly-anticipated exhibit, "Tentacle Porn & The Clintons." [Raw Story]
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Even Dinsdale was frightened of Doug ... He used sarcasm. He knew all the tricks: dramatic irony, metaphor, bathos, puns, parody, litotes and satire.

Yr Wonkette is no stranger to the double-edged weapon of sarcasm, we'll admit. OR WILL WE? It's part of our postmodern toolkit, with which we seek to undermine patriotism, faith, the free market, the family, and ultimately America itself. Duh. But we would never be so naive as to think we have a monopoly on irony and sarcasm, oh no, far from it. This week, we dip into the sludge of deletia for some brilliant examples of cutting rightwing wit turned back on us, with devastating results. Hope you're not all TRIGGERED so much you have to go find a SAFE SPACE, libs!

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This weekend, hundreds of people are gathering in Denver, Colorado for the 2018 Flat Earth Conference -- two whole days of people with suspiciously Andy Warhol-like hair yelling "Where's the curve?!?" and talking about ice walls -- and we are missing out! Flat earthers are kind of the best of all conspiracy theorists, because aside from a few fascists and anti-Semites in the mix, they are mostly harmless cranks who just want to feel like they are way smarter than all of the scientists. As far as I know, believing in a Flat Earth, while stupid, has never hurt anyone -- which is honestly kind of refreshing these days!

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