Everyone wants to live in this tiny ceramic house. - WonketteMike Allen, politics editor of the Politico, has a piece today describing in entertaining detail all the drawbacks of each major 2008 candidate. To sum up:

McCain is old and crazy and a MAVERICK, Mitt Romney is a mormon and a CLOSET LIBERAL, Rudy is this close to being a gay New York ABORTIONIST, Hillary is a woman and no one actually likes her, Barry Hussein Obama is a black and inexperienced and always plotting against us, and John Edwards hired BLOGGERS.

Of course, there are other candidates running. After the jump, we present some of their political weaknesses.

* Joe Biden: Cannot stop talking, will probably accidentally make a Polack joke next month, follow it with an accidental denial of the Holocaust.

* Mike Huckabee: Former fatty, now acts unnervingly like Richard Simmons.

* Bill Richardson: Gypsy curse.

* Paul Ted Tom Vilsack: Former Governor of the third dumbest state in the Union, will enslave us all.

* Sam Brownback: Got debts that no honest man can pay.

* Chuck Hagel: Video footage of his early career as an exotic dancer sure to surface eventually.

* Dennis Kucinich: Article II, section 6 of the US Constitution stipulates that the President cannot be an elf.

Drawbacks of '08 Contenders -- and How They'll Cope [Politico]


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