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Why Is Harry Reid Giving His Monkey Friends All The Good Drugs?

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By all rightsSharron Angle's Twitter feed ought to be a nonstop stream of hilarity, full of death threats and theological lunacy and pleas for friendship, but in practice whichever intern has been put in charge of it is heroically clinging to sanity, mostly just posting links to press releases and Angle's occasional appearances before the lamestream media. This right here is pretty good, though! Why did Harry Reid vote in favor of giving cocaine to monkeys? Doesn't he know that this is an issue specifically reserved to the states, by the 10th amendment?


In case you even wondered for a single second, the monkeys in question were research subjects in a study at Wake Forest about cocaine addiction that was in part funded by the stimulus bill. This research was highlighted in a report that John McCain and Jim Coburn wrote about wasteful stimulus spending, since the only thing those guys hate more than science is paying for science. Presumably someone in one of their offices forwarded it to the Washington Examiner, and then Sharron Angle's Twitter-intern ("Twintern"?) saw it on the Internet. And this is the best part of the story, because you can imagine this poor person, sitting around the Angle campaign office, bored, so bored, clicking on links, trying to feed the Twitter beast, and suddenly he or she sees "Harry Reid" and "monkey" and "cocaine" in the same sentence, and she or he says, "Oh my God, best Twitter link of the day! Of the week!" And then the afternoon got a little brighter. (If you think your Wonkette editor is feeling something of a kinship for this person right now, you are correct.) [Sharron Angle's Twitter/ABC]

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In this increasingly polarized society we live in, it's hard to find any kind of consensus on anything -- but one would think that there would still be a few things here and there that we could all agree upon. One also might assume that one of those things would be "drinking bleach is a bad idea."

But if one were to do that, they would be wrong. Because the Genesis II Church is holding a seminar today in Washington State in order to promote the use of a substance they call "Miracle Mineral Solution," which they consider a miracle cure for every disease on earth, and which the FDA and anyone who can read ingredients would consider "industrial bleach."

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This past November, far right dingbat Laura Loomer was finally kicked off of Twitter after tweeting a bunch of crazy ass hateful shit about Minnesota Congresswoman Ilhan Omar. To put it mildly, she was not happy about it. In fact, she kind of lost her fucking mind (what was left of it anyway) and ended up handcuffing herself to Twitter headquarters in order to protest the ban. She's been yelling about it ever since -- though since she's not on Twitter, few have even noticed.

Filled with desperation and with nowhere else left to turn, she is bringing her case to court and suing Twitter in hopes that a judge and jury will force the social media company to give her back her account so that she can continue to use it to scream horrible things about Muslim people all day long. This is what she is currently doing on Instagram, where she just recently went on a charming rant all about how much she hates Reps. Rashida Tlaib and Ilhan Omar (yes, again), stating that Islam is a "cancer" and that "Muslims should not be allowed to seek positions of political office in this country. It should be illegal."

With statements like that, it is hard to believe that Twitter, or anyone, for that matter, would not be thrilled to have a normal human person like Laura Loomer on their site.

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