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Why Is Socialist Liberal McCain Running In Republican Primary, Anyway?

Mitt Romney must beat John McCain, or all entertainment in the world will disappear. Please, Mormon God, Jesus, other spirit things: Give Mittens the nomination. He bought the damn thing, give the man his goods. He is too beatable and, more importantly, too funny to lose. Mittens just says these... things: today he noted that John McCain follows a "liberal Democrat course." I'm sure the crowd went wild to boot! McCain, that... Clintonist. [Time]

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