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Will Dick Cheney Thieve ANOTHER Orphan's Heart?

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  • Lamestream media types are always speculating when/if Dick Cheney will club another homeless child to death and then steal his vital organs, so that Cheney will be able to live an extra week. (The media also enjoys asking if Andrew Breitbart likes boys.) Anyway! America's most frightening former vice president says he is facing "end-stage heart failure" -- what normal people would refer to as "death" -- unless he receives another heart transplant. Dick Cheney hates dying so he probably will get that 10th transplant. Oh, and then Cheney praised Obama for using flying robots to kill all the brown people in countries nobody has ever heard of. [The Caucus]

  • Chinese leaders are visiting the White House today! Barack Obama will ask them nicely if they could maybe stop selling us poisonous Dollar Tree trinkets. [NYT]

  • American higher education is completely broken, and thousands of unemployed college graduates are quickly realizing that nobody cares about the "meta multicultural worldview" that they "learned" in Diversity Class. Do not send your children to college. Save your money. [McClatchy]

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