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Bet he looks even worse now that he's funemployed.


In Michael Wolff's very fake book, fired Tumblr blogger Steve Bannon said he thinks Donald Trump Jr.'s Russian Trump Tower meeting was "treasonous" and "unpatriotic" and "bad shit." He also says it's "as plain as a hair on your face" that Trump and Paul Manafort and Jared Kushner and Don Jr. are allllll going to be fucked on money laundering charges in the Robert Mueller Russia probe. (Steve Bannon would know about stray hairs on faces. Probably the curly black kind that suddenly unfurl from moles, we'd imagine!) He also told Wolff he wouldn't be hiring a lawyer in the Russia probe because it ain't like HE had anything to do with all the treason, no siree, Steve Bannon is clean as a whistle!

Anyway, he's lawyered up now:

The Daily Beast has learned that the former top White House strategist has retained Bill Burck, of the firm Quinn Emanuel. Two sources tell us Burck is helping Bannon prepare for an interview with the House intelligence committee, which is currently scheduled for next week. Sources also said Bannon plans to “fully cooperate” with investigators.

Well that's interesting! The Daily Beast reports that Bannon's lawyer is also representing Reince Priebus and White House counsel Don McGahn, but there doesn't appear to be any sort of joint defense agreement. A former federal prosecutor (our pal Popehat, oddly, who does less "national security conspiracy against the United States" law work and more "no Trump can't sue you for libel" law work) quoted by the Daily Beast says investigators will likely find it very ANNOYING that all these idiots have the same lawyer, because "it looks like they're controlling the story." To be clear, however, Newsweek reports that Burck is not representing Bannon for the purposes of the Mueller investigation like he is with Priebus and McGahn.

Bannon is testifying for the House Intelligence Committee on Tuesday, and God even knows what he's going to say. Is he going to go nu-cu-lar on Trump with all the dirty Russian dirt he knows, now that Trump made him pretend to apologize for being mean to Don Jr. and got him fired from his blogger job and his little radio show? Or will he go full-on pathetic and try to beg himself back into the president's good graces by stonewalling and trying to obstruct justice for Trump? Who even knows. How can one predict the behavior of an unemployed blogger who's probably taking even fewer showers these days than he did when he worked at the White House? (That is very few showers!)

RawStory flags an op-ed by conservative Republican strategist Cheri Jacobus, who says Bannon might be ready to fuck Trump the fuck up:

... [D]ropped by the Mercers, and by extension and formally by Breitbart, Bannon is now a man without a country, friends or home. That conveys an ominous message: Do not criticize this American president or you will be destroyed. [...]

Bannon and others who “know too much” can be dangerous to a president with a few too many secrets. Trump would be wise to heed this advice: Never put anyone in a position where they’ve got nothing left to lose.

If Bannon goes full on #Resistance and gay-bangs Trump in the Russia investigation, that will be very interesting! But please, MSNBC, even if that happens, we know the temptation will be strong, but that does not mean you have to give him a TV show. Looking at you too, CNN.

Guess we'll find out what happens on Tuesday after the closed door testimony concludes and your boyfriend Adam Schiff throws himself in front of every TV camera in the world to tell us all how shit went down.

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[Daily Beast / USA Today]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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Robbin Young. Fair use so we can all see the boob picture she sent to her 12 true loves.

Robbin Young starred in the Roger Moore masterpiece For Your Eyes Only as the seventh female lead, "Girl in Flower Shop." She also starred in a bunch of Playboys, and the DM's of a humble Romanian hacker who stole her heart. But he was not a humble Romanian hacker, he was 12 Russian military intelligence officers in a trench coat. And now Young has shared those DMs and pictures of her buzzies with the Sun, because that's the one that's fookin' classy.

See how she loved! See how Guccifer ghosted her ass! See how she loves him (them) still! See how she was all up in Seth Rich and shit! (We think Young's judgment might not be awesome.) Also she wrote this "erotic poem," and we're going to need you to read it.

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And now it is time for your weekly reminder that in the Trump era, FUCKING APESHIT OUTRAGE WORKS.

On Monday, Donald Trump, the transactional president who for some godforsaken reason sees Vladimir Putin has his one true father, discussed making an Art Of The Deal with Russia that involved letting Robert Mueller interrogate the Russian spies who hacked America in 2016 (with Russian supervision, of course, in Russia) in exchange for sending Putin whichever American citizens hurt Putin's poor fragile butthurt pansy-ass feelings the past several years. One of Putin's targets is Michael McFaul, the former ambassador to Russia, whom Putin just hates. Hillary Clinton isn't on the official list yet, but give it a few weeks.

On Wednesday, Sarah Huckabee Sanders looked at reporters and told them Trump's people were considering the idea, but hadn't decided yet, because it's so hard for the Trump administration to decide how many treasons to do per week.

But hooray! The White House has decided that, after literally every American with a patriotic bone in his or her body said, "THE FUCK YOU SAY," they will not send Americans to Putin's gulag after all. The Washington Post reports:

The White House announced Trump's opposition Thursday as the Senate prepared to vote on a resolution telling the president not to honor Putin's request, which would have exposed former U.S. ambassador Michael McFaul, among others, to Russian questioning.

"It is a proposal that was made in sincerity by President Putin, but President Trump disagrees with it," White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said in a statement.

Oh my fucking Lord, Shuckabee, did you really type that Putin's offer was "sincere," or did Donald grab the statement after you finished with it and add those words in illiterate Sharpie in the margins, along with "DOES NOT MEAN PUTIN IS NOT MY BEST FRIEND" and "NO COLLUSION"?

By the way, that resolution passed the Senate with flying colors:

WOMP WOMP, Trump! Sorry American freedom and democracy stepped all over your dick again! Guarantee it's gonna happen again! Go fuck yourself! Enjoy the 48 Big Macs you have for dinner tonight! Don't talk directly into the soccer ball Putin gave you, 'less you want it to talk back to you in Russian!

OK post over.

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[Washington Post]

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