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Wingnut Blog Shocked To Learn Corporations Give Money To Fascist Communist Muslim Socialists 'Think Progress'

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Hope you're sitting down, kids: the pro-American, completely reason-based blog PowerLine made ashocking discovery last week: There are politically oriented organizations that it disagrees with, and there are actually businesses that make donations to those organizations! No really, this shocking true fact is true!


The Center for American Progress is a left-wing organization that is closely associated with the Obama administration. Its principal product is a web site called Think Progress. Think Progress is part of the internet cesspool that modern liberalism has become. Written by hack left-wing bloggers, it is bitterly hostile to free enterprise. It is a low-rent site that traffics in the most absurd smears and conspiracy theories.

This is all true -- conspiracy theories like "global warming is real" and absolutely made-up anti-free-enterprise smears like "45 Fossil Fuel Disasters The Industry Doesn’t Want You To Know About," which suggest that the petroleum industry is somehow not especially clean.

Yr Wonket, by the way, does not traffic in smears and conspiracy theories. We prefer to think that we participate in the market of smear and conspiracy theory ideas.

But anyway, PowerLine has the goods on this far-left organization that preaches violent Marxist revolution through the means of a slightly higher minimum wage:

Many have wondered for some years who finances far-left web sites like Think Progress. As of today, we know at least part of the answer, as CAP released its corporate donor list for the first time.

Ooh, a list of companies to boycott! Incidentally, as a 501(c)(3) organization, CAP isn't obliged to release any donor information; yay for them for voluntarily doing so, but this is the sort of thing that really should be required, not dependent on the goodness of the nonprofits' hearts.

So after running through some of the Big Players (Apple, Bank of America, Co'Cola, Facebook, GE, Walmart, Wells Fargo) on the list, and even noting CAP's estimate that less than 6% of its funding comes from corporate donors (the rest is from foundations and individuals -- you know, GEORGE SOROS), PowerLine gets to its all-important conservatives-are-victimized-underdogs point:

I doubt that there is any conservative organization that can boast a remotely comparable list of corporate supporters. CAP’s disclosure is a timely reminder that large corporations are not, in general, supporters of free enterprise. Many of them love to partner with government to suppress innovation and competition. Koch Industries stands alone, as far as I know, as a relatively large company that actually supports free enterprise as a matter of principle. Which is why corporatist America, through disreputable organizations like the Center for American Progress, has waged unremitting warfare against Koch.

Strange that they forgot to mention ALEC, huh? Isn't that adorable? Conservatives have such a rough time of it, those plucky little guys, backed only by the second-largest private company in the country. And of course, it's unpossible that any of the corporate funders of CAP might also give money to conservative groups.

Of course, we wouldn't know about the donor lists for the top conservative 501(c)(3)'s because they have fought -- as a matter of Freedom and Liberty -- to protect themselves from any hint of disclosure requirements. They have to keep that information secret in quiet rooms, so they can't be assassinated by violent far-left liberals.

[PowerLine / Politico]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Guys, it's been one more shit day in a shit week in the fifth shit month of another shit Trump year. Which is why I need to remind you that it's not ALL shit out there! Oh, sure, it's MOSTLY shit, but you know what isn't shit? YR WONKETTE, and the strange community of strange internet people who have made getting through all this shit a bit more tolerable, that's who and what. Which is why you should give us money, so we can keep whanging away at the walls of shit with our shovels and laughing at the shit getting all over, because one of these days we will get it all cleaned up or at least not be up to our waists in shit, and we can all laugh about what a crazy fight it was, as St. Molly Ivins always kept reminding us.

In case you're new here, let me just remind you that Wonkette literally got me, Yr Dok Zoom, out of what wasn't quite poverty, but was pretty much paycheck-to-paycheck desperation. I started reading the site shortly before Barack Obama was elected, began commenting sometime in his first term, and submitted a story tip to Rebecca a few months after she bought the site for 47 dollars and a sandwich (I now understand it was a bit more than that). It was Memorial Day 2012, and she wrote back she was busy with some "stupid thing I have to do for some muneez," but would I like to try writing a blog post myself? "I understand if you say FUCK NO. But maybe you are thinking FUCK YES?" And then she warned me she paid only in Ameros. I did, the post was forgettable but OK, and then I wrote a thing (borrowed from now long-lost comments) that went semi-viral, and suddenly I was that hottest thing in publishing, a freelancer!

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There is a very normal article circulating on the internet right now by a fella named Don Boys (that's not the joke, the jokes are coming), who is both an insane batshit preacher, and also an insane batshit former member of the Indiana House of Representatives. (Also sometimes he blogs at the Daily Caller about how Mike Pence really went balls deep into the gay agenda when he swore in that insane batshit gay guy Rick Grenell as America's ambassador to Germany.)

This article, of course, is about Pete Buttigieg, because what are anti-gay buffoons obsessed with right now? Pete Buttigieg. Boys (still his name) is primarily concerned not with the simple fact that Buttigieg is gay, but with how gay Buttigieg really is. IN THE SEX WAY!

Well, Don, since you asked!

Shall we dive into this thing without the proper prophylactics? We shall.

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