Wingnut Blogger Sad Lee Stranahan Will Teach Us How To Blog About Politics And Maybe How To Love
You guys, we’re pretty terrible political bloggers. No, it’s true! People tell us this all the time. Sure, those people are often bloviating jackholes who don’t have the brains that evolution gave a gopher, but still it wounds us. When it’s 3 A.M. and we’re wide awake and the demons come, we cry out into the darkness of our lonely blogger cave: How? How can we do gooder political blogging more better, so we will be popular and people will give us monies and buy our mugs and t-shirts and 2014 Men of Wonkette wall calendar? (Note: one of those items may not exist...yet.)
Yesterday the answer came to us: we’ll turn to blog favorite Sad Lee Stranahan! Who better to teach us how to blog about politics than a man who cut his teeth writing for Dead Breitbart’s Llama Masturbatorium and Semen Depository? By a huge coincidence Sad Lee was at that moment promoting his teaching skills on the Twitterz. Let’s see what the blogging master has to offer!
Learn Political Blogging! That’s just what we want to do. Also, re-opening suggests he has offered this class before. So we searched Lee’s website and found a post from last March that informed us his class was now open, with a link to a site called LearnPoliticalBlogging.com. Promising! We checked out the site and found this:
We were disappointed that this is the only post on the entire blog. Not very informative, Lee! How are we supposed to become awesome popular political bloggers with huge followings like Andrew Sullivan, or the Instaputz or Ace of Spades or whichever wingnut is getting sued for lying this week?
Sad Lee does have that video (sized incorrectly – thanks Obama!) showing us some awesome quick tip about something or other, we don’t know, we were too busy being disappointed. It did not make us want to go ahead and purchase his online Political Video Bootcam0 (?) course with optional 2014 weekend hands-on seminar, which we picture taking place in a Motel 6 in Amarillo in a room that looks a lot like the rooms serial killers in movies are always holed up in.
And we’re certainly not sending him fifty bucks for his special Stranahan Prime offer that gives us every product he releases between now and 2014. At least not based on this sampling. Maybe if we learned something else from Sad Lee, like how to add vivid colors to our blockquotes, or change font colors and sizes randomly for no reason, or underline stuff so people will be fooled into thinking the text is a hyperlink…
Screw it, send us your monies and we’ll come up with our own course teaching political blogging, with booze and medical marijuana and slut pills. In fact, forget the political blogging.