Wingnut Matt Barber Will Not Be Anti-Gay-Bashed By Armed 'LGBT Squads'!
Sometimes we feel a little bad for wingnut's Wingnut Matt Barber, who spends so much of his time obsessing about the Gays (and the threat they pose to America) that we figure he must be exhausted by quitting time every day. Simply fagged out! His latest rant suggests that perhaps he's getting a little desperate for material, warning that America faces a whole new danger: scary gangs of armed gay thugs, empowered by the state to make everyone submit to gayness!
You see, Barber is Very Concerned about a HuffPo column by Mark Charles Hardie, which Barber characterizes thusly:
In a February 25 column headlined, “Gay People Are Gods: Protecting LGBT Communities Is a Divine Right,” Hardie goes full Rainbow Shirt. Under the pretext of “minimizing troubling incidents of anti-gay violence,” he shares that he has submitted “an innovative proposal” to the California State Senate to create “LGBT Squads” to enforce the “gay” agenda.
Sorry, Matt, "Rainbow Shirt" just doesn't have the terrifying resonance of "brownshirt," but it's a nice try. Barber is pretty sure that Hardie's column proves that "homofascists" are just itching to "compel, through any means possible (up to and including physical force), Christians and other dissenters to fully surrender to their radical homosexual activist agenda."
At least we'll grant Barber this: for a change, he's not exaggerating completely. Hardie actually is calling for something like what Barber describes, though conspicuously missing the part about forcing Christians into Regayducation Camps. Hardie proposes creating
"California LGBT Police Departments" throughout the Golden State. These police departments, funded by the state, would be staffed exclusively by gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender police officers. The goals of these proposed "LGBT Squads" are to better serve communities while minimizing troubling incidents of anti-gay violence.
So basically, anti-gay-bashing teams that would allow "LGBT communities to wield police power backed by the force of law" and of course to force Christians to bake penis cakes for gay weddings, at gunpoint if necessary.
Barber is, of course, terrified by Hardie's insistence that "we must not only demand 'gay rights,' but we must also demand gay power'":
To be clear, Hardie, a former staff attorney for CA governor Pete Wilson and “public affairs intern” for Senator Barbara Boxer, is not calling for metaphorical “weapons” to enforce the “gay” agenda. He means weapons weapons. You know… guns.
What is it that you people are always saying, Matt? Something about how if people are law-abiding and follow police instructions, they don't need to worry about cops? Besides, guns are good, aren't they?
Not that Hardie's proposal has a ghost of a chance of being adopted. But Hardie's piece, more than being terrifying, is mostly just a pretty dreadful piece of writing; following a horrific description of a gay-bashing that he witnessed when he was nine years old, Hardie goes just the teensiest bit over the top, claiming that on the very same night, he just happened to watch a videotape of Martin Luther King's "I Have A Dream" speech:
I distinctly remember Dr. King oozing moral courage and socio-political power as he continually described his compassionate dream of equality and justice. A tear rolled down my face as I listened to the speech.
"Oozing?" That's not fascist, it's just weird. And no, we probably don't need a Gay Squad to enforce basic civil liberties, thanks -- although we'd probably watch the Netflix series.
So Matt Barber probably doesn't need to worry too much. If you want a vision of the future, you probably shouldn't imagine RuPaul's stiletto heel stamping on a human face, forever.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.