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Wingnuts: Pro-'Agenda 21' Feds Murdering All The Mississippi Lawmakers One By One

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In the Dan Brown novel that is the Mississippi legislature, we have five dead in a matter of months. Now, a Mississippi lawmaker has been found dead of a single gunshot wound at the home of another (former) Mississippi legislator, and the wingnuts of Before It's Newshave a theory that in no way has dribbled out of the half-fried pile of mouse droppings where their brains ought to be. Republican Jessica Upshaw, they point out, killed an anti-U.N. "Agenda 21" bill in its cradle, so it only makes sense that she was murdered by anti-U.N. forces like ... Before It's News. Oh wait no sorry, since that could obviously not happen: it is the feds who are murdering Jessica Upshaw, because they are "mad that she brought Agenda 21 to this level of attention," by killing an anti-Agenda 21 bill. Also, people are murdering BP whistleblowers, which we don't even have to look up, because that we can believe.


Of course we are not buying that Upshaw's gunshot wound was self-inflicted, because a lady does not make a big mess of her skull and brains at someone else's house.

But "the feds killed her because she killed a bill they wanted killed" just doesn't seem to be up to the usual level of cognitive cohesion demonstrated by the anti-Agenda 21 folks, as they do not say a single word about how bike paths are the gateway drug to socialism or how a UN sustainability plan signed 20 years ago by George H.W. Bush causes forced abortions.

[BeforeItsNews / ClarionLedger, via Gawker]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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The Church of Scientology had some thoughts about Our Robyn's piece, Who Wants To Watch A Creepy White Guy Rap About Scientology? We had some thoughts about their thoughts.

Thanks for writing in, Scientology! As you doubtless realized when you didn't demand we take down our story, but requested it instead, our opinions of your weird cult and that poor young man's rap skills are protected by the First Amendment. (I learned about libel law in college and grad school but also on the job: I was in newspapers so long that I was actually colleagues with Tony Ortega -- about whom you sound quite "venomous" and "biased" -- at the very same newspaper chain you can't believe he defended! Next up, please show your due diligence by talking trash about a woman you didn't know was my mom.)

Also, a lot of your former members say on the record that you kidnap people, and stalk them, and harass them, and sometimes beat them up good, and I request that if so, fucking stop it.

The rest of you click the headline, if you want your OPEN THREAD.

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Monday's Trump-Putin press conference landed on the entire free world like a hot treason-shaped turd, didn't it? Congressional Republicans have been saying mean things about it on Twitter, and even Fox News has been less than 100% supportive! The White House communications department obviously knew it had a crisis on its hands, what with how it's generally considered inappropriate for the leader of the free world to get on all fours in front of the Russian president and wag his tail and slobber with anticipation while he awaits his next marching orders. WOMP WOMP, etc.

So the comms department typed up a thing for the president to read aloud today at the beginning of his meeting with members of Congress, about how he was VERY SORRY he said one word incorrectly during the Putin presser. That's right, only one word of that whole fucking shitshow was wrong. All the rest of his traitor words were exactly what he meant to say.

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