Witch Endorses Cultist
Regretful teen-aged witch Christine O'Donnell has endorsed bland gazillionaire flip-flopper Mitt Romney -- or, to the Newt Gingrich campaign, Mitt Romney the cultist. Why endorse Mitt? According to O'Donnell's appearance on CNN this morning, it's because "He's been consistent since he changed his mind." Uhh.
We are pretty sure this development means Mitt Romney is going to dump his longtime wife and marry Christine ("to be more like Newt") and then be the goofy dullard businessman while unemployable housewife O'Donnell comically tries to "stop using witchcraft" (masturbating) while he's at work. This is Romney's "northeast strategy," we think.
Anyway, super exciting news, on the endorsement front: Christine O'Donnell has thrown the full influence and power of her never-elected national-joke status behind poor little rich boy Mitt Romney. Obama probably doesn't even have to campaign next year. [LAT/Think Progress]