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Wonderful Teen Will Bring Truth About 9/11 and Obama-Joker To This Sheriff's Car

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This is not just a wonderful video about .000005% of America's Youth -- most of them are still sitting in front of the video screen eating Crazy Bread, thank Allah! No, this here is part of an exciting contest! Beloved Austin comedian Alex Jones is making all the Truther/Paultard/Birthers do these embarrassing videos, maybe for a prize of some kind?

First, Alex, you must listen to the voice of reason: DO NOT PUT ON JOKER MAKEUP YOU ARE JUST SUPER FAT, DOESN'T WORK.

What you look like, Alex, is John Wayne Gacy. That's not really "sexy," if you know what we mean. (And you know what we mean, you sass!)

Did Bill Hicks ever let himself go, Alex? NOOOOOO! Exercise or something, jesus ....

Anyway, Alex Jones is having a contest. The first kid to bother a cop enough to get tazed will get to say "Don't taze me bro!" while getting tazed. Must be between 16 and 23 to win. Must live at home.

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Lace up your sneakers, Wonkers! Time to hit the streets. MoveOn, the ACLU, MomsRising and all your favorite dirty leftists are getting together for a yuuuuuuuuge march to show that WE ARE A NATION OF DECENT FUCKING HUMAN BEINGS WHO DON'T KIDNAP BABIES. And your Wonkette will be there!

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Rudy Giuliani, flapping his loose yap to Politico on Monday:

President Donald Trump's attorney Rudy Giuliani said on Monday that he was actually just bluffing last week when he called for Justice Department leaders to suspend special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation within 24 hours.

"I didn't think it would," Giuliani told POLITICO with a laugh when asked about the Mueller inquiry's still being very much an active investigation. "But I still think it should be." [...]

That's what I'm supposed to do," Giuliani explained on Monday. "What am I supposed to say? That they should investigate him forever? Sorry, I'm not a sucker."

Cool, that is just Rudy Giuliani admitting he's full of shit and words and more shit and more words (and also a noun, a verb and 9/11). We are guessing therefore that Giuliani, who is a lawyer, would legally advise us to continue assuming we should take his every oral ejaculation with a gi-normous grain of FULL OF SHIT.

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