Wonkette is comin' to the conventions, and we wanna stay at YOUR HOUSE!
I will sleep at your house!
OMG there's been another religiously motivated beheading (fine, near-beheading) in Oklahoma!
Finally, the right has incontrovertible evidence of voting fraud! Democrats say it's rare, but here is the video that proves just how real and scary it is: "Liberal activist caught on video stuffing hundreds of ballots." Or, from some of the more responsible rightwing sites who are pretending to hedge a little, "This Video Appears To Show A Guy Stuffing Hundreds Of Ballots Into A Ballot Box."
Do you live in the Washington DC metro area and enjoy hipster irony such as "playing dodgeball," on your weekend, when you should really be at home meditating on the emptiness of your life? Well, by all means you should play dodgeball for charity on March 11. Get your loser political/lobbyist/think tank/junior staffer friends together and sign up! You can help solve diabetes -- both in a literal sense, in your own body, by exercising, and also by helping raise money for a medical cure. And you can help solve the apparent social issue of "the first sustainable dodgeball tournament according to the Council for Responsible Sport who oversees the sustainability certification process for sporting events."
Here's what's going on in DC today: The ongoing Occupy DC protest at McPherson Square is still ongoing, so stop by and say hi and whatever, and also the long-planned "Stop the Machine" rally against TEN YEARS OF WAR IN AFGHANISTAN is also going, and going big. Here's a live feed NOW CORRECTED WITH A BETTER FEED THAT'S ACTUALLY LIVE FROM DC:
Our Wonkabout editor, Arielle Fleisher, packed up and fled D.C. for the fun lands of Europe and then the not-so-fun lands of Michigan (for grad school), but she managed to pop up in the Washington CityPaper before this vanishing act. Did she make the news section for doing a political crime in a neighborhood ward district or whatever? No! She wrote about "Groupon Etiquette," which is apparently what is involved when you use the online coupons from that pyramid-scheme website instead of just paying for your food:
Well hello! After two years of eating and drinking her way around this city so you could know which small plates, pork, hamburger or pizza establishment is worthy of your hard-earned disposable income, it is time for your Wonkabout to leave the playground that is D.C. She is off to learn things in grad school, after which she'll probably be unemployed, burdened by debt and unable to afford her pork habit. Wish her luck! But really, it was all fun and gamesuntil tattooing a dead pig for charity became an acceptable D.C. springtime activity ... and then she knew it was time to go.
Happy third day of Passover to all our Jewish friends and a hoppy almost Easter to "everyone else!" Jews eating matza and the celebration of when Jesus returned to say "howdy" to all his followers before going away again are two exciting occasions that mark fertility, horny rabbits, and most importantly, spring. Before we enter the sweat feast that is D.C. in the summer when thousands of young impressionable political science majors will come to D.C. to flaunt their stapling skills and flocks of fanny-packed tourists will roll around town in their Segways, we get D.C.’s most enjoyable season, spring. This means there is pig to be eaten and patios to be enjoyed.
Post-no-government-shutdown blues? Everyone was all excited for the anarchy and lawlessness, that is, until they came after the hoohaws of D.C.’s low-income women. Even if D.C.'s mayor did go to jail to protest the Republican Riders, short of throwing fetuses on Boehner's lawn, it seems like Washingtonians are just going to have to go back to doing what they do best: indiscriminately disposing of income at a food and beer establishment. Which takes us to H Street NE, where, for its newest act, it has unveiled aMongolian restaurant where food is consumed under the faded glare of multiple flat screen teevees. D.C. at its best!
Washington is usually such a lively place, with its rats and whores and millionaires and non-essential government employees. How will D.C. change when the Federal Government actually shuts down forever Friday at Midnight? Maybe you like the socialist safety and security of your paycheck and don’t care for this unpaid, forced spring break? Or maybe you’re excited that this has the potential to be as much fun as snowmageddon, only without the snow and the paid time off? The reality for D.C. is rather unpleasant: No trash pick up, no fixing the potholes, government workersstruggling to survive without their BlackBerrys, and thousands of tourists on Segway tours to nowhere because all the attractions are shut down. Other than dumping your trash in front of Boenher's house, here are some suggestions for how to make it though the Shutdown.
Apparently, in our little small-plates metropolis it is possible to have a simple, non-pork-based meal in a nice, modestly decorated restaurant. For a while there we had resigned ourselves a life where we would get all our nutrients from bacon-covered doughnuts and to drinking beer only from mason jars in dimly lit restaurants. This is why we’re excited that we can use the words “good value” and “simple” to describe Medium Rare, a new steakhouse in the semi-revived Cleveland Park. Maybe you're of the rare breed that likes to eat well priced, decidedly undercooked, tender, succulent morsels of meat?
There are many great things that come with the start of spring, like homeless people returning to Dupont Circle, tourists on Segways, free cone day, and Jesus. Of all the obligatory D.C. spring activities, though, there's nothing more loved than staring at the cherry blossoms, even if those pretty pink blossoms look exactly the same every year. But, since Japan is just awful these days, and because we're all but one old Brita filter away from radiation poisoning, we thought now is a good time to figure out what exactly cherry blossoms are and how they ended up in the nation's capital.
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