This week DC was packed with has-beens and also-rans, still probably looking better than everyone else. Chuck Norris enjoyed a steak, but wasn't on a stake-out. Bo Derek has traded in the couture for the sale down the street. Madeleine Albright has a book to hawk (but she's a dove), Ari Fleischer thinks his Blackberry has too many buttons, and Grover Norquist wants everyone to know how his name is spelled. Plus your latest installment of "Where is George Stephanopoulos This Week?," and a raft of reality TV stars must have washed up on the banks of the Potomac. Test your memory after the jump!

The month of May has come, when every lusty heart beginneth to blossom, and to bring forth fruit! Readers, bring forth fruit in the form of sightings, then send the juicy tidbits to us via email, with "Wonk'd" or "Sighting" in the subject line (along with the name of your heart's desire!). Flourish in tipstery deeds! Gracious thanks!

* Yesterday [5/10] at lunch at Charlie Palmer - Ted Kennedy was completely ignored by everyone because the real celeb in the room was Chuck Norris. At the table in the front window next to some Amazonian blonde and a bunch of handlers. Looked like he could easily take out the entire room if he felt like it.

* I saw Chuck Norris on the hill...with a well kept scruff. Both he and his wife were incredibly nice to Hill staffers. No karate chops to be seen.

* [Same tipster as prior item] Also saw Madeleine Albright at her Georgetown Barnes and Noble book signing. She's lost so much weight she looks like a completely different person.

* Not only did I see Madeleine Albright in Georgetown last Saturday [4/29], I had my second Bush twin sighting. Last night [5/5], I saw a very drunk Jenna Bush, at Saint Ex with her boyfriend. The boyfriend was deemed unimpressive by my group. Her Secret Service detail, that she was hanging all over when the bf wasn't there, was dressed so badly he totally stuck out among the crowd.

* I saw Sen. Bob Dole at a fundraiser last week [5/4] for the Osteogenesis Imperfecta (OI) Foundation. He looked exactly like I expected him to, down to the pen in his right hand and the dyed hair. He didn't appear to have any handler, assistant or posse with him, which was pretty cool and he interacted with us regular folks. He was refreshingly approachable and very funny, making jokes about Congress, or that could have been my drunken impression as it was a wine tasting and I had tasted plenty by that point.

* While shopping at Zara's in Georgetown this weekend [5/6-7], my sister and I were waiting in line to try on clothes and in front of us was none other than the perfect "10" herself, Bo Derek. She was by herself and very down-to-earth. She's super tiny, but is still beautiful and has a killer body. While we were paying at the cash register she asked the clerk where the nearest restroom was located. The girl told her near the restaurants or down by the waterfront, I guess the girl felt no special treatment was in order.

* I sat next to Newt Gingrich on the shuttle bus to our airplane [5/8]. He sat a few rows in front of me. 6:45 am flight from DCA to Pittsburgh. He was very nice and chatted with some people who asked him about the book he was reading. He has a lot of hair. No sign of a bald spot. He's portly but well dressed and congenial.

* I was sitting outside at Lucky Bar and saw George Stephanopoulos walk past - twice. Actually, I only have my friend's word for it that it was Snuffelapagus himself - each time I saw the rapturous look cross her face, I took long enough to turn around that all I could see was a very short man in a blue shirt and slacks walking away. But she swears to god it was him. He was walking with his hands clasped behind his back, looking very monastic.

* I saw George Stephanopoulos enjoying Saturday morning brunch at Whitlow's on Wilson in Clarendon on Saturday [5/6], around 11:30 AM. Was very casually dressed and appeared to be with a group of runners maybe enjoying a post-run pancake binge? I tried to listen to get more info but then my drink was ready and, well, priorities and all.

* [Same tipster as prior item] Also after breakfast saw Samantha Powers heading into Harry's Tap Room. Seemed deep in conversation with the man she was walking with. She's super tall.

* New Hampshire Ave. just north of Dupont Circle, I saw Sara Albert at about 3:30 on May 1. I remember thinking that she was definitely a model but didn't realize it was her until I read that another person had seen her outside Busboys and Poets. Her hair was a pretty, lighter blond than her UPN publicity photo and she does indeed have big lips. Also bigger thighs than I would have expected on a model, but maybe that was just the jeans. It makes me happy to think that even models have jeans that make them look fat.

* Saw NBC's "The Contender" Fan Favorite and WBO-NABO Middleweight Boxing Champion Joey Gilbert was at Marcels on Sunday night [5/7] with a group of business people.

* I saw Adam Mesh from the Average Joe at the Georgetown waterfront on Saturday (5/6). He even had an entourage! A couple of us spotted him walking across the grassy knoll where we sat reading our magazines.

* I just [5/10] spotted Charlotte York, er, Kristen Davis in the lobby of the National Press building walking toward a limo outside. She was looking very last season in a full-skirted fushia dress and pumps. Given that, she still looked way too stylish for D.C. I half expected to see Carrie Bradshaw drinking Cosmos at the Reliable Source (she is, after all, a journalist). But, alas, it seems as though Charlotte left her in Manhattan with Samantha and Miranda.

* Saw Ari Fleischer at 10:30 this morning [5/5] sitting alone near the door at the 11th St. Starbucks (between F St. and E St.) while chatting on the phone and messing with his Blackberry. I tried to eavesdrop on the conversation but that crappy Starbucks music was too loud.

* Easter Sunday [4/16] morning at the SE "unSafeway" I saw Grover Norquist at the checkout line next to mine (express, but couldn't see what purchases were keeping him from church). He was wearing a khaki vest with a ton of cargo pockets, as though he was in Iraq. The ID was confirmed, when the checkout clerk predictably mangled his name, and he clarified loudly, "NORQUIST, q-u-i-s-t"

* I just [5/11] saw David Gregory at the intersection of 17th and M NW. Looking pretty damn tall. I stayed on the other side of the street to avoid any Scott McCellan-esque beat downs.

* He's barely famous, but I recently saw Raj Bhakta walking out of Philadelphia's Union League clearly red-faced from alcohol, bowtie and all. He was at a place typically reserved for stodgy old white men, which fits in perfectly with his new GOP candidacy for Allyson Schwartz's seat (uh yeah, stick to reality TV). My partner said hello and Raj gave this, "please don't mention The Apprentice" nod. Seemed like an uber-douchebag.

* Just spotted [5/11] Scooter Libby at Oval Room. Had drinks with two very lawyerly looking guys.

* Saw Governor, Senator-defeated-by-a-dead-man, and U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft was here in Jefferson City, MO yesterday [5/10] to have his bust dedicated in the "Hall of Famous Missourians." Apparently, all one has to do to get in is be nominated by Speaker of the House Rod "Jethro Bodine" Jetton. On his elevator ride crowded with Republican Reps., someone asked if 5'6" Republican Governor Matt Blunt was aboard. One of the Reps. bent over and looked among the passenger legs before replying, "no."

* Just [5/11] saw Tom Wolfe walking through the lobby of the Hall of States with his trademark white suit on. He was stooped over, trying to pull his suitcase through the lobby, while his shiny publicist-looking lady led the way. I miss Clooney when he's in the building, but I get Tom Wolfe as a consolation prize?!?

* Former US Senator Slade Gorton , Republican of Washington, was seen slinking through the dining room of B.Smiths in Union Station today (5/10). It's surprising that he can still stand upright. He only looked about 1000 years old. "I thought I felt a chill behind me," one diner was overheard saying as Slade slipped by.


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