Wonk'd: Hark! The Herald Sightings Sing
The tipsters have gotten themselves on the "good" list and uncle Wonk'd has loads of stocking stuffers for an early Christmas. These presents might not be as good as the ones Laura Bush was seen buying, but you get what you pay for. Unwrap a jaywalking John Bolton, an over-caffeinated Katherine Harris, an anatomically correct Anderson Cooper, and an occasionally anonymous Dan Bartlett that comes with elephant sidekick, under the tree.
We knew you could do it. This is the best collection of sightings in months -- but don't let's stop now! Let the joy of the Holiday season flow out of you and into our inbox, with joyeux sightings for all! Just make sure they all have "Wonk'd" or "Sighting" in the subject line and the name of the elf or ho! ho! ho! you saw. We hide the presents here on Fridays.
* I was doing some Christmas browsing earlier today [12/2] and saw Laura Bush at the Brooks Brothers on Conn. Ave. She bought a cashmere turtleneck for her, a pair of socks for George (should have wiped myself with those or something), a barn coat for her mother-in-law, and a couple pairs of tights for the twins (presumably to replace the stolen ones). She looks a whole lot older and zombie-like in person.
* I saw mustache man John Bolton outside my office in midtown Manhattan yesterday (11/30), about 5 blocks from the UN. He was walking with two extremely unfit secret service guys, one looking around nervously for trouble. He is extremely short and stocky and looks a little like the monopoly man minus the top hat and monocle. I think he must have been late for a job interview or something because he was hurrying, jaywalking, and throwing the fat secret service guys into a bit of tizzy. His 'stache seems even bigger in person!
* Saw Fred Barnes yesterday as he was leaving the American Democracy Conference. He all but elbowed me out of the way to get out the door facing Penn. Ave. It was an amusing few minutes to watch as Barnes appeared bewildered for a moment in not realizing where he was. He went in three different directions and looked at several cars before realizing he went out the wrong side of the building. Course, he couldn't have been too happy; he had just emerged from a panel discussion of the 2006 midterm elections and was seated next to Donna Brazile.
* Saw Dan Bartlett last Sunday [11/26] in the elephant house at the Zoo. His was with his way preggers wife and young spawn. The kids ride in an SUV of a stroller: a double wide elitist MacLaren. Proof that the Bushies don't live in a reality based world: she left her handbag on the handle of the stroller while in the elephant house. If thieves can get the twins handbag, they certainly can get Mrs. Bartlett's.
* I saw Katherine Harris alone and in line at the Longworth Starbucks [12/1], getting some oversized latte flavored thing [Triple Venti, no fat, no foam, extra hot, with pink sugar], and just in case she might be running on empty, two giant Diet Cokes as well. She was looking proud, except that her left index finger was in a splint, no doubt from excess finger pointing. Also, her portrait still graces the Longworth Starbucks wall (along with many other Members). But everyone else has their stock picture shot in front of the American flag. Hers; however, has her lounging on a leather sofa, looking longingly up at the camera. I really want to swipe that souvenir.
* So on Friday night [12/1] I was at the Mandarin Oriental for my work holiday party. As I'm walking out of the lobby, who do I see but Ashley Simpson. Anyway, both of her parents were with her and she seemed fairly normal. She was actually really pretty in person and was absolutely tiny. I mean, she's not fat on television, but she's one of the more healthy looking girls out there. In person, she's like a rail. Literally, a size zero, possibly double zero.
* Today (12/2) at about 1:45 as my wife and I were walking home, we spotted Noah "ER" Wyle perusing window menus in Chinatown at 6th and H Street. He looked good and seemed happy as he sort of wandered the sidewalk with a pleasant expression on his mug. Appeared to be by himself.
* I saw Alberto Gonzales at the Capitals game Saturday night [12/2]. He was there well over an hour and half early and just stood around the hallway with his wife, son, and two guys with earpieces, it was sort of weird. He was wearing some nice black cowboy boots, I'm pretty sure were made of alligator or some other exotic skin.
* While sitting in morning traffic on I-66 this Tuesday [12/5], I looked into my rear view mirror and noticed Alberto Gonzalez and his wife, Becky, in a champagne-colored Mercedes behind me. He was wearing a tie and a ski jacket. They were chatting amiably and actually looked like a couple in love. It was strange watching the guy who wrote a memo to the President saying that torturing and holding people indefinitely without due process was cool sharing a few laughs with his wife. Maybe he was telling her detainee jokes! Shouldn't the most powerful lawyer in America have a driver? He's pretty good looking too, possibly out of her league. Also, he made an illegal lane change and cut-off traffic to get onto an Arlington exit and avoid the traffic. But hey, he's the AG!
* Yesterday [12/5] I was having lunch at Young Chow's [this tipster loves that place] on Penn. (on the Hill) when I saw former AG and noted amateur vocalist John Ashcroft get seated in the back room with several other grim-looking men.
* I saw New York Times columnist and master of the obvious Thomas Friedman on Friday night (12/1) leaving the Wizards game. He was stealthily weaving through the crowd as I was heading into the movie theatre by the Verizon center.
* Wolf Blitzer was at the GW vs. Maryland "Eastern Shore in Foggy Bottom" game tonight [12/5]. During the "Pita Pocket Dance Contest" in the second half, someone on the AV squad put Wolf on the Jumbotron, but he didn't seem to know what was going on and just waved at the camera instead of breaking out into The Running Man. I guess Wolf doesn't need to win five free pitas for himself and his friends.
* Anderson Cooper Sighting! That's right. I was sitting next to the ambiguously gay and very sexy "360" reporter last night [12/6] in the Jury's restaurant/bar in Dupont Circle. He appeared to be on a date with a rugged looking young man with a goatee. I believe the date heard me say as Anderson walked out, "Look! Anderson is so hot he walls like a sex machine".
* Anderson Cooper totally "360'd" a group of Democrat press folks (plus one Republican) at Biddy Mulligan's just now [12/7]. He's with an unidentified Spanish man.
* Saw that big ole lezzie Candice Gingrich (Newt's sister) at the E Street Cinema Friday night [12/1] for the 9:30pm showing of For Your Consideration. She was with a lipstick lesbian, although compared to Gingrich, Janet Reno is a lipstick. She was drinking a glass of red wine and judging by her guttural chortling, I'd venture to say she enjoyed the flick.
* Maryland's favorite outgoing Lt. Governor and Senatorial loser Michael Steele spoke at American University tonight [12/6], in an event full of white people using phrases like "homeboy" and "up in my grill." The College Republicans hosting the event fawned as Steele said "what's up?" and "how y'all doin'?" Steele spoke at length about how great of a campaign he ran, placing blame for his embarrassing loss on a "drumbeat from the Washington Post" and the fact that Maryland is full of Democrats. Then the nutty politico made a historically inaccurate statement about how the government's delivery of 40 acres and a mule to freed slaves represented "the first form of affirmative action." This statement was made in support of affirmative action, and without regard for the fact that NO ONE EVER ACTUALLY GOT 40 ACRES OR A MULE.
* I was getting my haircut in downtown Concord, New Hampshire this morning [12/6] when former Alaska senator/Democratic presidential candidate/crazy person Mike Gravel came in with a staffer/volunteer/enabler. Didn't recognize him at first, but the two men started asking a lot of odd questions and then Gravel put the other man in the barber's chair, paid for it, then instructed the barber that the other man had been cutting his own hair for the last 3 years and he wanted him to not look like a bum. They were acting either like 15 year old kids or a couple of drunks. Anyway, weird.
* I saw Congressman Michael McCaul (R-TX, married with five children) drinking at Bobby Van's on 12th St., NW the night of Pearl Harbor Day with a stunning blonde. The only other time I've seen the blonde is at Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff's side, so I guess that's who she works for... But Chertoff was nowhere to be found. The blonde did have three smoked packs of Marlboro Lights in front of her, though, so Chertoff may have been disguised as a cigarette.
* At last Saturday's [12/2] Capitals-Buffalo Sabres hockey game (sorry, I can't use the Internets at work!)... Attorney General Alberto Gonzales. He was nattily dressed in a turtleneck, dark blazer, and dark pants (jeans maybe?) of some kind. Two gentlemen who were most likely Secret Service were with him. It was in the lower concourse by the entrance to one of the suites (102/103 section). High roller indeed. I had to do a double-take- definitely him (he does have beautiful hair though)...we were joking about seeing Tim Russert there, but no sightings. BTW...I never knew Alberto Gonzales was so short. At least he saw a good game.