This week's Wonk'd features everyone you love to hate: Tom Delay putting giant brown things in his mouth, Anne Coulter taking some good meat, Lynne Cheney staying safe under a brand new helmet, and Rick Santorum just being the whack otis he usually is. If you'd like a lighter mood for Friday afternoon, you'll also get Howard Dean's charming cab habit and Martin Sheen in DC for real and not just in your heart. All these lovely tidbits, plus a sign from God that Ralph Nader should probably hang up his wagging finger of shame.

Send us your sightings at any speed, but really, fast and faster is all you should need.

* Saw Lynne Cheney tonight [3/1] at the Shakespeare Theatre. Damn, is she short! But, wow, fabulous dye job and cut. Easily $250. Nary a root in sight. Hilary needs to take lessons. In a black pantsuit and white shell, big sparklers in her ears, presenting some local scholarship winners. Didn't even need reading glasses for her speech, which was no more than a 14 point font, but I guess sleeping with the devil eliminates the need for reading glasses.

* I just [3/1] saw Rick Santorum walking down 15th Street NW, between G and H, talking to some other dude. When I realized it was him, I involuntarily said, "Rick Santorum!" He said, "Hi," and kept going, clearly on his way to fight Islamofascism, or gays.

* Just [2/23] saw Rick Santorum braving the windy streets of DC just outside the Hilton at 16th and K. I am sorry to report that he was not crying like a little girl.

* Anne Coulter walked into BLT Steak last night [3/1] for dinner wearing a very "urban" furry black jacket. Much to her dismay the screaming souls of greedy 9/11 widows were not on the menu. Her female dinner companion actually seemed to be enjoying her company.

* As I was enjoying a leisurely lunch [3/2] outside with colleagues at Tune Inn, the infamous Tom Delay walked by and headed in to the liquor store adjacent to the Cap Lounge. I tried to take a pic with my camera phone, but when he spotted me, he went back into the store. He emerged five minutes later with a cigar and came back towards us. He looked more pathetic than ever, walking alone and only getting the looks that Jackie Earl Haley got in Little Children as he walked east on Penn.

*On my way to work [3/2] near the Hill I spotted Charlie Rangel in his cheeky PT Cruiser, complete with "NY15REP" vanity plate.

* Spotted and spoke with Ralph Nader yesterday, (Feb. 23) at E St. cinema. I'm sure it was because the documentary "An Unreasonable Man"

about his life that was opening at E St. that night. I had just gotten out of another movie and noticed he was sitting at a small table signing his book. I actually got a book and spoke briefly with him. He's a very approachable guy. Not many people seemed to notice he was even there, and one guy even set his cappuccino on the book signing table.

* Saw Howard Dean exiting the Capital Hilton on Saturday (2/24), where the Democratic Governors Association was meeting. He strode past a limo I thought was his and instead got into a regular old DC cab with a bunch of aides. Hell, even I paid to valet park there.

* Just [2/28] exchanged greetings with Martin Sheen . He was strolling along (by himself) on M Street near Thomas Jefferson Street just casually doing some window shopping. As I passed him I said, "Good afternoon, Mr. Sheen." He looked at me smiled and said, "How ya doin'?!" He looked cool and relaxed.

* Saw Michael Musto waiting for a table at Annie's Steakhouse on 17th Street last night [2/28].

* Saw a nice towncar waiting outside my building (19th b/w L and M) on Thurs, Feb. 22. It had a sign in the window for Mary Matalin. As I

waited next to the car to cross the street and peered at the sign, the driver stuck her head out the window and asked "are you Mary?" Do they really have no idea who they're driving? Anyway, just as I got across the street I saw her walk out of my building and into the waiting car.

* Saw NY Congressman Jerry Nadler at Roland's convenience store on Capitol Hill. He took his sweet time checking out, and spent about a minute peering over the counter at the chocolate m&m's or the DC scratch-off lottery tickets, but left without buying either.