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http://wonkette.com/assets/resources/2007/03/love%20rocks%20monkey-thumb.jpgThis week Rudy Giuliani proves there's nothing more American than baseball and S&M while Valerie Plame and Kiefer Sutherland blow their covers, and Tucker Carlson just blows. Plus Joe Scarborough, James Carville and everyone's favorite tequila slurping laborer.


Seen a Presidential candidate in a pair of assless chaps? Or a cabinet Secretary drinking margaritas straight from the pitcher? Then email your good friend Wonkette, cause we like laughing at the sad state of national leadership just like you do. Don't forget to put "Wonk'd" or "Sighting" in the subject line, cause we're lazy like you too.

* I was in fabulous Tempe, AZ on Friday [3/9] watching a spring training game when who should appear but everyone's favorite mayor, Rudy Giuliani. He showed up at about the 5th inning wearing a baby blue long sleeve shirt and chinos with his little bald noggin completely uncovered, no Yankee hat. He proceeded to sit down behind the Angels bench and bother poor Mike Scoscia for several innings. Then a lady sitting next to us went down and stood in line to get America's Mayor to autograph her stuffed "rally monkey." This particular monkey had a little pleather outfit with little pleather hat, jacket, pants and Fabulous black boots. When she came back she was proudly showing off the signed bondage monkey. Rudy had, of course, signed it on the ass. So, she kept dropping trou on her little toy to show off the signature.

* Sunday afternoon (3/11) about 4:00, as we were walking southward on the west side of 14th St. at Franklin Square, non-future-president Rudolph Giuliani sauntered by with a bodyguard on his left and a younger man on his right. All three were in suits, so, it being Sunday, they stood out in that tourist-filled area. He looked "thicker" than I thought he was. He was smiling, telling a story at a leisurely pace and gesturing with his hand.

* Saw Valerie Plame at the Palm tonight [3/15] having dinner with a couple, but without her husband. Turns out she was celebrating her birthday, and the waiters serenaded her with a "Happy Birthday Valerie" song and cake. So covert.

* Saw Kiefer Sutherland repeatedly at Martin's Tavern in Georgetown this past weekend [3/10-11]. He was in town for some movie festival and went in there for dinner Saturday night and brunch on Sunday. Nice guy and, like most famous types, shorter than you would expect. He said he went there because he had been in with Michael Douglas a few years back.

* Spotted Tucker Carlson walking up North Capitol Street near the Fox/CSPAN building at 12:25 pm on Tuesday, March 13, 2007, clad in a yellow windowpane sport jacket evocative of P.T. Barnum, yet oddly incognito sans bowtie. He was talking animatedly into a cell phone. I gave him my standard DC celeb greeting, "go get 'em, Tiger!" He responded with a fist-pump and a "Yes!" Of course, he might have thought I was saying "go get 'em, Tucker."

* Saw Mitch McConnell and Elaine Chow at La Loma last night [3/15]. Elaine arrived with her husband and was wearing jeans. Apparently, she goes there a lot.

* Just [3/15] saw Joe Scarborough at 30th Street Station in Philadelphia. He looked harried trying to catch the regional Amtrak to DC this afternoon, but the train was late. Wearing nice plaid shirt, blue blazer, gray pants.

* Saw David Gregory putting his kid in the car across the street from 2 Amys on Sunday [3/11] afternoon. Not as tall as I thought. Also, he was wearing shorts when it really wasn't that warm out.

* I was walking west along V St. NW crossing 16th when I saw James Carville crossing 16th in the opposite direction. He was walking a dog, and looked uncharacteristically put together. He's also not nearly as scary-looking as he appears on the teevee. I actually wasn't sure it was him until he noticed me staring at him, smiled at me and said "hey how ya doin'" in his Cajun accent. At the risk of sounding stalkery, he has a surprisingly nice smile. Also, I'm not sure if this counts, but Ken Mehlman hit on me in a Dupont Circle gay bar in November of '06.

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