Wonk'd: This Week With Pretty Pictures
Today's edition of Wonk'd comes with a pretty picture. First, the sighting:
On Wednesday [3/22] I saw Kimora Lee Simmons (Russell Simmons's wife) in her SUPER GOD DAMN OBNOXIOUS "tour bus" (what the fuck is she touring for??). Her "job" is to make sure Russ gets plenty of BJs, that her breast implants are replaced and upgraded every couple of years, and she gets enough publicity for marrying a rich black dude... But here's the kicker: an official US govt. black SUV (license plate USSS9) was escorting her from downtown down M street to the Four Seasons Hotel!!! Your tax dollars at work, folks! Is this a great fucking country or what???
And now, the picture:
Finally, an addendum from this reader:
Turns out she's on a 'book-signing' tour for her new book, 'Fabulosity.' (As if she can or even has to read or write!! More brainless bimbos taking up causes they can't even pronounce. Gotta love it.)
After the jump, additional celeb sightings (but sans pictures). Remember: please continue to send us your sightings, with "Wonk'd" or "Sighting" in the subject line. Thanks everyone!
* Yesterday [3/23] the Four Seasons in Georgetown was apparently THE place to be for breakfast. Scattered throughout the room: Michael Brown, of FEMA infamy; Matt Cooper, of Time magazine (and Plamegate fame); and, for a touch of artsiness, Anna Deavere Smith. Sounds like prime territory for a Wonkette stake-out!
* Molto Bene! AJSCOTUS Scalia having lunch today [3/23] at Tosca. Couldn't see who he was dining with or whether he had the scapinash or the flounder special. My lasagna was tasty, however.
* Saw Justice Samuel Alito at the DC Environmental Film Festival [3/22], attending a screening of Volcanoes of the Deep Sea (IMAX!). Is this a good sign that our newest justice is pro-environment?
* As i was driving my boat slowly into The Carlisle Bay here in Antigua [3/22], i had to avoid Mr. John Kerry who was enjoying a little hobie cat sailing. He had been trying to do some kitesurfing while holidaying on this beach paradise, but the winds were too light this week. Leaving the island later today.
* A few rows ahead of us in the orchestra of the premiere of Mark Adomo's opera version of "Lysistrata" tonight [3/21] at Lincoln Center sat Chelsea Clinton. The former first daughter wore a slimming black dress, and was unpretentous enough to carry her own grey shoulder bag rather than check it. She nuzzled a little with an academic-looking man in a sleeveless sweater before settling in to see the musical version of the woman who stopped a war by witholding sex. Aside from sliding in a little late at intermission, Chelsea was the perfect audience member, clapping at the good parts and laughing at the funny parts (lines like "we will meet their rigidity/with utter frigidity"). We did not notice whether she responded to Lysistrata singing (with the delightful Greek plural) "We know all men are ruled by their phallii."
* This may not be that big of a sighting, but I though it's worthy to note because it's a daily occurrence: I pass George Stephanopoulos on an almost daily basis as he walks from the ABS studios to the Mudd House coffee shop on M Street. He seems to be a nice guy, always saying hello to random people, but boy is that guy shorter than I had expected.
* Not so much famous for DC, but famous for hotness. Joshua Jackson outside the old Evening Star Building (1101 Penn) shooting a new TV series about DC lawyers [3/21]. As if there are not enough of those shows... but for Pacey, I will watch anything. He was walking across Pennsylvania over and over again trying to get the shot in, with some African-American actor that kinda looks like Barack Obama (sp) and has been in tons of stuff.. but I cannot find him on IMDB. The only thing I can find about this venture online is that it is the "Untitled Carol Medelson Project." But again... anything for Pacey. If only he was shooting Mighty Ducks 4 here...
(The Reliable Source ladies have the inside scoop on Joshua Jackson's new show, "Capitol Law.")
* My wife and I were waiting for our carry out order at Benihana in Bethesda on Saturday night [3/18] -- they have pretty decent, cheap sushi -- and none other than The Prince of Darkness himself, Douchebag of Liberty Robert Novak shuffled in. He was joined by a lovely woman that I assumed was his wife, another younger woman we took to be his daughter, and his four young grandchildren. They were a party of 7 so I imagine they got a table to themselves, but I was immediately delighted by the image of the chef flipping chunks of scalding hot shrimp at Novakula's face in a vain attempt to get him to catch one in his mouth. He was looking pretty rough; hair all over the place, wrinkled suit, suspenders screaming for mercy... and sort of mumbling to himself while he stared off into space. I know he's been under a lot of stress lately, but I prefer to believe that his quivering bottom lip was caused by the mixture of fear and anticipation of that big ball of fire that the Benihana chefs unleash from the grill to start their show.
* I had a meeting on Friday March 17th at the Wyndham Hotel at 14th and M. I swear I saw Renee Zellweger on my way down to the meeting room, at about 7:30 AM. She was in running clothes and a group of people she had just passed by on her way to the elevators were craning their necks and asking each other if it was really her. If it was her, she looked way less squinty and hungry than she does in photos.
* This is a little late. Last Wed, March 15, saw the Rev. Jesse Jackson and his rainbow coalition (not really, but maybe...) at National. Our flight to Detroit was delayed for 3 hours -- thanks, NorthWORST Airlines. The Rev. was super nice and patient and took pictures with all the kiddos in the terminal. Around 7 pm he said "I'm going home. Let's try this again tomorrow." WHAAAT?! I was sort of counting on him to make a scene. Oh well, I guess this isn't that newsworthy...
* Barack Obama was chatting it up in line at Wall Street Deli, the fake sandwich place near the Delta Airlines terminal at Reagan last Saturday (3/11). Las mujeres latinas behind the counter didn't seem to recognize him... maybe that's why they were pissed he took so damn long to order as he pondered aloud the virtues of ham versus roast beef. He finally settled for turkey -- on WHITE. Homeboy's a third of the way into his term and he's already selling out.
Gosh, Obama is everywhere! Here's another sighting of him:
* In California this weekend for a pharmacology conference. On the flight from San Francisco to San Diego this Sunday (3/19) I saw Barack Obama in first class (as I trudged to coach, but first row so it's ok). The girl in front of me took the initiative to say hello and shake his hand. I mumbled something and piggybacked on her pushiness. He was wearing a full suit, which seemed odd for 3pm on a Sunday, especially on the way to America's Finest (and maybe worst dressed, as I've noticed) City, San Diego. I didn't see any bodyguards, but I'm pretty sure the casually dressed gentleman with a buzz cut next to me was an air marshall.