Donald Rumsfeld has some bathroom issues that Robert Novak can smell clear across town, Ed Harris and John Voight kick themselves for taking advice from frat boys, and Chris Matthews makes sure his tips are properly frosted. All this, plus Ted Koppel without the helmet and why you should begin fearing Michelle Malkin's kids now.


Don't ever go to Georgetown. Really, don't. But if you do, and happen to see a grown ass man staring into a mirror pondering shades of yellow, don't forget to email us with "Wonk'd" or "Sighting" as the subject. You can take many paragraphs as you can want to ponder the erroneous life choices that brought you to that encounter.

* Saw Donald Rumsfeld at Billy Martin's tonight [4/5]. He was with his wife (who has big hair) and another unidentified couple. My waiter told me that a handful of girls backed out of having to cover his table because they were afraid of the temptation to accost him, but finally a 30-something Mexican-looking fellow with a sweet 'stache took the job. My waiter also said that Rummy only comes to Martin's for the shad (which is, admittedly, delicious). Rummy's party waited at the door whilst he hit the head, and on the way out he shook hands with a half dozen people who were too polite to interrupt his meal. Hope he washed his hands.

* Ed Harris and John Voight wandered their way into Garrett's in Georgetown last night [4/5] around 11:30. Since they were the only people over 30 they kind of stood out. They hung out for a bit, let people take pictures, signed some autographs then woke up from their trance, realized they were old, famous, and in Garrett's -- and promptly left.

* Saw John Voight on the Catholic U. Campus [3/30]. He's a graduate of the Drama Department but he wasn't on campus for a department event. Apparently he painted the Cardinal on the old gym floor that is currently in the student center as a decoration. He came by to sign it and take publicity photos. Worst of all, none of the drama faculty even knew he was coming.

* I ran into Ted Koppel [3/30] coming out of an elevator in Friendship Heights. He was much shorter than I would have expected (like 5'8") and wearing a denim shirt, of all things. His hair was a mess and he looked pretty rumpled in general. But he lives nearby in Maryland, so it was definitely him.

* Chris Matthews seen Saturday [3/31] noon at Four Seasons hair salon in Georgetown getting his hair highlighted!

* I totally saw Michelle Malkin at Baltimore Penn [3/30] getting on the same train I was, headed for Union Station. She was with her entire family and her kids are adorable! I feel so bad for them. She looked like a typical demure Asian girl with a white guy. I could not believe upon closer inspection it was her.

* Saw Robert Novak outside the Caribou Coffee on 17th and L [4/2]. He was wearing his typical "Who farted?" facial expression.

* I was behind Senate loser and former Maryland Lt. Gov. Michael Steele at the Starbucks at 16th and K Street on Tuesday (4/3/07). After ordering his coffee he wandered down to the pick-up counter and asked the barista, "Hey Boss, got any heavy cream?" That prop dog from the commercials was nowhere to be found.

* Fresh from this past weekend's Cherry Blossom race, Adrian Fenty looked well rested at B.Smith's in Union Station on April 3rd. He spoke to a crowd of lawyers from Sigma Delta Tau Legal, and although he didn't have time to eat, B.Smith's Trans-fat free menu wouldn't have slowed him down.

* Saw E.J. Dionne at a Starbucks in Chevy Chase on Saturday (3/31). He was playing a card game with some kids and talking to their mom. I don't think they were his family; he was just being friendly. Seemed like a nice guy.

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