DEFY DEATH With Us, In Denver, TODAY!

It's a surprise impromptu Denver Drinky Thing! Come see us! TODAY!

Yesterday, our connecting flight in Denver from Cancun, it was bad. How bad was it, Rebecca? Well, half an hour into it, the pilot informed us he wasn't climbing to altitude because the cabin wouldn't pressurize, and the backup cabin pressurization system had failed too. That's when I looked down at my three-year-old daughter and saw she was fassssst asleep despite yammering like a common three-year-old daughter until about a minute before.

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2018: The Year The Children Did Lead Us

God bless them, every one.

The kindergartners are having active shooter drills. They are hiding in the closets, crying and messing their pants. We traumatize them every day, to keep them "safe." But what should we do, NOT teach our babies to rush the bad man? (Yes. We should not teach our babies to rush the bad man.)

For years now, Moms Demand and Everytown for Gun Safety and Gabrielle Giffords and her husband Astronaut Mark have been trying to save America from itself -- to change it from the kind of country that lets forty-seven of its children get shot with guns EVERY DAY. To change it from the kind of nation that doesn't even charge the adults who leave their guns around their children, who then do the utterly expected. And we watch and wish it could be different, but the NRA is too powerful, there is nothing we can do, we might as well just lie down and die, in a shower of lead.

But the Parkland kids -- they would NOT BE IGNORED, DAN. They are fierce and powerful and FUCKING MAGNIFICENT, and as they start college -- they're barely in college! -- they are dragging the rest of us along for a master class in ENOUGH, while it's the NRA that is weakened and dying.

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Wonkette's Top Ten Is BACK IN ACTION!

Did you miss me?

I told Evan to go ahead and skip the Top Ten, and I would write it at ya, to thank you for sending me to #Mexico and give you baby pictures of #Mexico, and you know what that bitch did? He started the post anyway and put all the links in it, like some kind of common helpful DOK. He either would like a raise, or to ensure that ONLY HIS POSTS WERE ADDED BY "BEYONCE."

Let's learn, together, about what happened this week while mama did vacation like a common Michelle Obama, spending all the GRRR TAXPAYER MONEY all la-di-da, going to Spain to see the king!

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US of America News

Wonkette's Weekly Top Ten BRB We Are Going To Mexico

Either for celebrating or a sadness coma, guess we'll find out which!

Now, hear us out: EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE. So just as soon as the midterms are over, once we decide if we'll be drinking for sadness or pleasure, we are headed to Akumal, Meheeco. We guess we'll have a party there! So if you're like in Cancun-ish, or Playa del Carmen, hit us up at rebecca at wonkette dot com so we can buy you tequila with your fellow readers' Robert De Niro.

Now shut up, it is time for your weekly Top Ten!

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