Wonkette And Trey Gowdy Agree: Trump Should Just Let Mueller Indict Him!
Lord have mercy, what's happening? Lions are lying down with lambs, Ted Cruz and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez are on Twitter making plans to do legislation together, and Wonkette agrees with Trey Gowdy! Sort of!
Gowdy told Fox News that Donald Trump, instead of allowing himself to face an impeachment proceeding, maybe should just issue an executive order saying the Department of Justice's policy against indicting a sitting president is some bullhonky, and that they should go ahead and indict him. We at least partly concur!
Of course, this is Trey Gowdy we're talking about, so his reasoning is dumbfuck and backasswards. Stealing the transcript from the Washington Examiner, so it might be fucked up, but YOLO, don't care, it's Friday:
"I'd take my chances with 12 reasonable minded fellow citizens than I would the House Democrats," he said.
PAUSE. We are trying to imagine what a jury of Donald Trump's peers would look like. How tiny their hands would be! How shitty all their hair would look! How voluptuous would be their Yeti Pubes! And all of them would be scared of windmills!
OK, back to Gowdy's very serious argument:
"You can waive any right you have. You have the right to remain silent, but you can talk to the police if you want to," Gowdy said. "You have a right to a jury trial, but you can plead guilty if you want to. I'll bet the president has a right to say, go ahead, indict me. If you have enough — the Supreme Court's never said that I can't be indicted. This is DOJ. I'm the head of DOJ. I run the executive branch. If you have enough to indict me, go ahead and do it. At least you'll have some clarity."
Gowdy later said "the jury would never convict him," which just leads us to assume Gowdy, a lawyer, has not read the Mueller Report, which is pretty cut and dried. The president is a criminal. But hey sure, Man With Old Dead White Beaver Pelt On Head, LET'S DO THIS!
The only part we'd quibble with -- and we'd only quibble with it because we are fair and balanced and as always are led by the Lord to compromise with those with whom we disagree -- is that we think there's nothing in the Constitution that says Trump can't be indicted AND impeached at the same time. Like, you could impeach Trump's loser fucking ass, and then put him in prison after that, once he's convicted! Or you could do both same-timesies!
Gowdy, of course, thinks Trump has a bad chance facing impeachment, at least in the House, because the stinky Democrats have already decided Trump is guilty. (More like we already know he's guilty, of everything in the Mueller Report, and probably 6,000 other crimes.) But perhaps Gowdy is projecting his own experience of prejudging a person's guilt, like that time he led 1,400 investigations into Hillary Clinton and Benghazi, came up with blue balls each and every time, and yet still stomped his feet and clapped his hands and swore to whatever Fiddle-Playin' Hootenanny Jesus he worships that Hillary Clinton was still GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY.
Oh well whatever, LOCK TRUMP UP!
Other point is it's the end of the day and the end of the week, so this is your OPEN THREAD!
Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE, DO IT RIGHT HERE!
Wonkette is ad-free and funded ONLY by YOU, our dear readers. If you love Wonkette, SUPPORT WONKETTE.