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Lord have mercy, what's happening? Lions are lying down with lambs, Ted Cruz and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez are on Twitter making plans to do legislation together, and Wonkette agrees with Trey Gowdy! Sort of!

Gowdy told Fox News that Donald Trump, instead of allowing himself to face an impeachment proceeding, maybe should just issue an executive order saying the Department of Justice's policy against indicting a sitting president is some bullhonky, and that they should go ahead and indict him. We at least partly concur!

Of course, this is Trey Gowdy we're talking about, so his reasoning is dumbfuck and backasswards. Stealing the transcript from the Washington Examiner, so it might be fucked up, but YOLO, don't care, it's Friday:


"I'd take my chances with 12 reasonable minded fellow citizens than I would the House Democrats," he said.

PAUSE. We are trying to imagine what a jury of Donald Trump's peers would look like. How tiny their hands would be! How shitty all their hair would look! How voluptuous would be their Yeti Pubes! And all of them would be scared of windmills!

OK, back to Gowdy's very serious argument:

"You can waive any right you have. You have the right to remain silent, but you can talk to the police if you want to," Gowdy said. "You have a right to a jury trial, but you can plead guilty if you want to. I'll bet the president has a right to say, go ahead, indict me. If you have enough — the Supreme Court's never said that I can't be indicted. This is DOJ. I'm the head of DOJ. I run the executive branch. If you have enough to indict me, go ahead and do it. At least you'll have some clarity."

Gowdy later said "the jury would never convict him," which just leads us to assume Gowdy, a lawyer, has not read the Mueller Report, which is pretty cut and dried. The president is a criminal. But hey sure, Man With Old Dead White Beaver Pelt On Head, LET'S DO THIS!

The only part we'd quibble with -- and we'd only quibble with it because we are fair and balanced and as always are led by the Lord to compromise with those with whom we disagree -- is that we think there's nothing in the Constitution that says Trump can't be indicted AND impeached at the same time. Like, you could impeach Trump's loser fucking ass, and then put him in prison after that, once he's convicted! Or you could do both same-timesies!

Gowdy, of course, thinks Trump has a bad chance facing impeachment, at least in the House, because the stinky Democrats have already decided Trump is guilty. (More like we already know he's guilty, of everything in the Mueller Report, and probably 6,000 other crimes.) But perhaps Gowdy is projecting his own experience of prejudging a person's guilt, like that time he led 1,400 investigations into Hillary Clinton and Benghazi, came up with blue balls each and every time, and yet still stomped his feet and clapped his hands and swore to whatever Fiddle-Playin' Hootenanny Jesus he worships that Hillary Clinton was still GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY.

Oh well whatever, LOCK TRUMP UP!

Other point is it's the end of the day and the end of the week, so this is your OPEN THREAD!

[Washington Examiner]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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It started with them damn hats. (Image: Wikimedia Commons)

A guest post by "Knitsy McPurlson," which we suspect is not a real name.

Yr Wonkette is not the only website run by brilliant peoples unafraid to poke people with sharp, pointy sticks. Ravelry.com – a website for knitters, crocheters, and other folks interested in textiles and fiber arts – is poking people with knitting needles, which are very sharp indeed.

This past weekend, Ravelry.com's founders showed the world how easy it is to de-platform white nationalists and racists when they banned all "support of Donald Trump and his administration" from their website, concluding they "cannot provide a space that is inclusive of all and also allow support for open white supremacy." Seems like people smart enough to decode a knitting pattern are also smart enough to decode Trump's not-so-hidden message of racism and white nationalism.

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One day, God willing, my grandchildren will click open their history textbooks and read about the Central American migrant internment camps. They'll learn about sick kids, locked in cages, kept hungry and dirty and cold for weeks on end, and they'll be horrified.

"Bubbie," they'll say, "how could this happen in America? How could there be toddlers sleeping on the ground without blankets, without soap or toothbrushes to clean themselves?"

"I don't know. I wish I had done more. I'm ashamed," I'll say. We will all have to answer for this atrocity. But some of us will have to answer more than others. Not just the archvillains like Stephen Miller and John Kelly, but the people who kept right on doing their jobs, even as those jobs morphed into defending concentration camps.

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