Wonkette occasionally answers questions. Send yours to: . A reader asks an incredibly relevant question:

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Will Wonkette be attending any inaugural festivites?

Hmmm. Well, it depends on what one means by "attending," by "festivities," and, for that matter, "inauguration." We will be watching the parade and the swearing-in on television, like a sane person. In America, we think that counts as "attending." As for this evening, well, we'll be putting on finest clothes, encumbering ourselves in complex undergarment, preparing our small talk and then emptying the mini-bar... if that's not "festive," what is? As for "inauguration." Fuck, he really did win, didn't he?

Good thing the mini-bar is already open. . .

The day after inauguration, if we can walk, we're appearing the Hotline's annual comedy show. Because nothing says "funny" like a bunch of journalists and politicians pretending to like each other!