Wonkette Baby Literally Walking All Over Your Weekly Top Ten
BUT FIRST, we need you to do that walkin' baby a solid, and go vote for her in Aldi's cute baby contest. Yes, there are many other cute babies, and they are allegedly adorable we guess or whatever, but Donna Rose is the one that you vote for. Understand?
Your next task (you have many tasks today!), is if you have ALL THE MANY LOVES for your Wonkette, and you are aware that Wonkette Babby needs some new walking shoes (and so do Evan and Robyn and Dok probably), you should click this linky to toss us $5, $10 or $25, to support the very hard work we do for you every day! Please help! By clicking here! With your moneys!
While you are pulling out your wallet, here's the traditional picture of Wonkette Baby Donna Rose being a scary lion!
YOU CANNOT EVEN RIGHT NOW.
Shall we now count down the top 10 stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé, ALLEGEDLY? Yes we shall!
1. Poor Sarah Palin thinks somebody gives a fuck what she thinks about the Orlando shootings.
2. Michele Bachmann is on Donald Trump's dumb evangelical advisory board. Glad she's found something to do.
3. These Trump-hatin' Hillary ads, THEY ARE SO GOOD.
4. Oh sad, that dumb #BeckyWithTheBadGrades lost her affirmative action case at the Supreme Court!
5. This racist white news lady was fired from her job for being white! Ayup.
6. Donald Trump gave a low-energy teleprompter speech and nobody cared. Sad!
7. Donald Trump's not prepping for debates or anything, but he's pretty sure he's got some zingers for Hillary!
8. Fox News idiots worried Anderson Cooper is just too big a damn homo to fairly report on the Orlando shootings.
9. In Which A Man Going His Own Way Has A Sad Time At A Bar. That's all.
10. Donald Trump is pretty sure Hillary is lying about her religion. Is she a Muslim? Was she even BORN HERE?
So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories.
OK, Wonkers, you have one task left and this is it. You need to sign up for the Wonkette newsletter, RIGHT NOW! We are ALL CAPS-ING at you because we are yelling! It's a great newsletter, where we send you secret jokes and promotions and sexxx chats. Do it! NOW! NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW!
While you are doing that (AND SCROLLING BACK UP TO GIVE US $5, $15, or $25 BUCKS IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY) let's go ahead and have another pic of Ms. Babby, bein' cute again:
OK bye, go vote for the babby in the cute babby contest, that's all, have a good weekend and stuff.