Wonkette Black Friday: Buy All The Things You Want, From Home In Your Underwear
Are you still recovering from your Thanksgiving food coma? Are you already worrying about what to give your friends and family for the holidays, but you aren't one of those people who camped out all night outside Big Box Store to buy the latest iGadgets and Tickle-Me-Whatevers? No problem! We've got just the things for you, and you can buy them now, in your underwear, without going anywhere.
At the Wonkette Bazaar, you can find your favorite Wonkette things and buy them! Buy them all! Need a Shut The Fuck Up Luke Russert coffee mug? Of course you do! Who doesn't? Get 'em now!
And if you're good and ready to Begin War On Decadent Western Christmas With Elizabeth Warren Mug, Da, we've got you covered there too.
Also tote bags. Of course we have tote bags! What kind of liberals would we be if we did not have tote bags, HUH?
Do you like to buy things on The Amazon? Sure, who doesn't? Maybe you want the many recommended cook books and kitchen supplies recommended in our Recipe Hub. Maybe you just like to shop shop shop on the interwebs. Do us a solid, and click the Amazon link when you make your purchase, so we get ours while you get yours. Everyone wins!
While you're cruising around Yr Wonkette and laughing at all the jokes what we work SO HARD to make for you, click on that Needful Things thing, because then we will get more money so we can work SO HARDER to make words for you what you like. There is make-up and girl things and panties galore, and you know you want to get in on that action. It's not just for men; ladies, you can click on those Needful Things too!
Maybe you are just, like, "Oh, I have all the things I want and all the Needful Things I need, but dammit, I just want to help out Wonkette SO BAD. How can I do that?" Glad you asked! You can just straight up send us your monies without even expecting us to do anything else for you in return, except maybe throw you the occasional drinky thing, where we spend all the monies you gave us on beer. You're welcome. If you are so old school that you're like, "Paypal? What the frick is that?" you can use Pony Express to send monies to Yr Wonkette: PO Box 8765, Missoula MT 59807, please and thank you.
Sure, we are failing to make fresh new jokes for you this weekend because, duh, we want to get our do-nothing holiday weekend on too, but also too there is a wedding! And it is the wedding of the century, where your Editrix and your Shypixel are making honest persons of each other. And is there a better way to say mazal tov than to buy all the things and click all the links and send all the monies? No, there is not. But if you are super old school, Emily Post style, then yes, there is a Wedding Of The Century registry, if you are just like all, "I don't really need another Wonkette tote bag, but I sure would like to give these two crazy kids some salad plates."
Happy shopping and giving and clicking, Wonkerados. Thank you, we love you, you pay our rent.