Wonkette Commenter Proposes Unorthodox Larry Craig Theory
And because nothing about Larry Craig's bizarre plan to un-resign from the Senate makes any fucking sense, we're going to elevate commenter Outstando to the front page -- because if he's right, this may be a coded (or uncoded) message to other time travelers who may be able to help Soldier From The Future "Larry Craig" save America from a 40-year Robot Mary Cheney Regime that ends with Idaho under two miles of (poison) water. Think about it.
Without further speculative commentary, here is Outstando's chilling/retarded post:
BY OUTSTANDO AT 11:04 PM
Larry Craig has a secret. I've been reluctant to tell it, but there is too much at risk, and so I must level with each of you. The fate of the world as we know it hangs in teh balance.
Larry Craig is from the future, an interannual chrononaut sent back to reform/destroy the Republican party from within before it puts Idaho and much of the rest of the world under the ocean, which happens in 2048.
He's traveled back in time several times now, which makes things seem a little awkward to 2007 earthlings who improperly view his actions as a continuum through our 2007 time.
In the future, we will learn that his first trip back was to the Minneapolis men's room in June, 2007. Obviously, time travel is a little rough on rookies. He was disoriented, but nevertheless made his planned outreach to an ambassador of the gay community. By 2048, the Gay Agenda has been fully implemented, and so the wise politician of the mid-century needs to establish influence with those who will rule the world prior to the Great Flood.
He has come back now in last-ditch effort to save us.
Sorry about the length of this post, but I think it's important that everyone hear and understand the Manifesto of the Wide-Stanced. Jiminy God!
Sen. Craig may not resign, spokesman says [AP/MSNBC]