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Wonkette Correctly Exactly Predicts Which Congressman Would Fight DC Gay Marriage

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Yesterday, your Jim Newell announced DC's gay-marriage-is-okay news with this caveat: "HOWEVER, while Father Congress is not expected to go all 'Home Rule' and block this sucker, we’re about 99.9% sure that one congressman or another representingsome salty swamp in the middle of nowhere will make a half-assed attempt to ruin this, score a few points with the folks back home, etc." Hmm, "salty swamp in the middle of nowhere," where could that be?


Hmm, well, shit let's just check the Salt Lake Tribune and get it over with:

A Utah Republican renewed his pledge Tuesday to prevent the nation's capital from allowing gay couples to marry after the Washington, D.C., Council signed off on such a measure.

But Rep. Jason Chaffetz acknowledged it will be tough to overturn the newly adopted ordinance, which the Washington mayor is expected to sign before Christmas .... Chaffetz sits on a House subcommittee that oversees the district. Congress can revoke D.C. laws within 30 days after they are signed by the mayor.

Yes, sure, of course. But what kind of Mormon name is Chaffetz, anyway? That sounds pretty Jew-y to our learned ears. Hmm must be some kind of shameful biography somewhere around here ....

Hahah, of course: He is a San Francisco Bay Area Liberal Jew, in fact the son of Kitty Dukakis, who was "briefly married" to John Chaffetz, presumably this turd's father. So this turd, who obviously has some incredible family issues, goes to BYU and converts to Mormonism and becomes a right-wing crank, the absolute worst kind, the "I used to be a liberal" young creepy kind, and he moves to Utah forever and becomes a wingnut congressman, who is now fighting a gay marriage law in Washington D.C.

And John Chaffetz is the author of a pro-gay marriage book, Gay Reality: The Team Guido Story.

So this guy, Congressman Jason Chaffetz, is obviously a Secret Pole-Smoker, no? After all, this is what he told Sports Illustrated years ago, about playing the American heterosexual game of Football: "It's like being a ballet dancer -- tight pants, a little contact and a whole lot of kicking."

IMPORTANT CORRECTION/UPDATE: From Alisia Essig, Communications Director/ Legislative Aide to Congressman Chaffetz: "Congressman Chaffetz is not the son of Kitty Dukakis. His father John was married to Kitty and had a son named John (who is Jason’s half brother.) They were then divorced and His [sic] father married his mother and had Jason. Kitty later remarried Dukakis."

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