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Wonkette Editors Can See Into The Future (When The Future Involves Puerto Rican Separatists)

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So about a week ago your editor here was sitting around late at night wondering, as she so often does, what ridiculous theory she could turn into a post for NBC, and she decided to write some wingnutty thing about Sonia Sotomayor's senior thesis from her Princeton days. "As everybody can agree, senior theses are one of the best tools we have for evaluating potential Supreme Court justices,"she typed dumbly. "You should think about whether the Supreme Court really needs some judge who is so excited about Puerto Rican independence." And today, you'll never guess what they're writing about over at The Corner!


The titles of two recent posts:

Former (?) Puerto Rican Nationalist Nominated to North American Supreme Court

We've Waived the Right to Press Sotomayor on Being a Puerto Rican Separatist Who Couldn't Bring Herself to Say "United States"?

The lesson here is that being drunk when you write this "parody" stuff is not enough. You really need some cheap meth, too, if you're going to recreate the paranoiac rage.

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Yeah, that's my daughter and I made this

Guys!

Last

month

was

crazy!

First, NASA sent its last message to the Mars Opportunity rover! THEN scientists said that all the insects are dying but not the human-looking ones in the GOP. As if THAT wasn't enough, some brave pendejos with grandes cojones are going to try and get seafloor creatures from under a giant ice shelf in the ANTARCTIC!

So, yeah, all three of those stories happened last month. Let's cover each in a science lightning round.

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Education Secretary Betsy DeVos is terrible at her job. Her objectives and overall mission are evil, but if it's any consolation she can't effectively implement them. After buying her Cabinet position at Sotheby's, DeVos has spent the past two years trying to roll back Obama-era policies designed to protect and actually educate students. Unfortunately for her evil schemes, federal courts keep smacking down her slimy efforts. It's getting embarrassing.

DeVos recently had to cancel $150 million in student loan debt after courts said her attempts to stop the "borrow defense" regulations from taking effect were in fact illegal. Last week, she was forced to instruct colleges to follow the Obama rule barring mandatory arbitration agreements. She got kicked in the teeth earlier this month when a federal judge ruled she'd acted illegally ... again. This time, DeVos tried to delay an Obama-era guideline that required states to address racial disparities in their special education programs. Judge Tanya S. Chutkan called the delay "arbitrary" and "capricious."

The rule, drafted under the Individuals With Disabilities Education Act, would require states to identify districts with "significant disproportionality" in the number of minority students channeled into special education services, segregated in restrictive classroom settings or disciplined.

OK, so what was the "education" secretary's issue with this rule? We want to imagine there's some rationale we're not seeing and DeVos is more than just some yacht-collecting monster.

Keep reading... Show less
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