WONKETTE EXCLUSIVE! MUST CREDIT WONKETTE! THE WOMAN JOHN KERRY'S NOT FUCKING

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!A statement by Wonkette:


    For the last several days there have been no Internet rumors relating to me and Senator John Kerry. Because I didn't have an affair with Senator Kerry, I assumed the media would splash my name and yearbook picture across their pages with barely constrained glee. But they didn't. Now, I have an embarrassing Friendster profile and I'd like to see it on the cover of the New York Daily News.

A statement by the parents of Wonkette:

    We have spoken to our daughter and the allegations that no one has made regarding her are completely false and unsubstantiated. She did not have a relationship with Senator Kerry, though that's probably only because he didn't make a move. Lord knows, she put out for everyone else running -- even Nader. That said, we intend on voting for Kerry for president of the United States. Everyone keeps telling us how electable he is.

Wonkette [Friendster]

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