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Wonkette Housekeeping, Convention Planning

First of all, we'd like to apologize for the number of typos in today's posts. Our spelling has never been that good, but today it seems to cross some heretofore unknown line between merely lazy and actually illiterate. Without our alert readers, it's possible that all of today's posts would simply be random, almost German-looking phrases separated by references to genitalia. But would anyone notice the difference?


As usual, we have an excellent excuse for these more-frequent-than-usual errors: We are more drunk than usual. What with the convention coming up, we're trying to increase our tolerance to alcohol to at least Barb-ian levels, if not quite Jenna-esque heights (oh, it is to dream. . . ). Sure, it's taking a toll on our spelling, but you should see our liver.

And speaking of convention planning, we've been meaning to respond to the correspondent who asked us about appropriate attire for the Boston gathering:

Dear Wonkette-

 

Could you give a political newbie some adive on the dress code for the Democratic Convention.  What would be appropriate to wear during the day, is it strictly suits or snappy casual?  Also what is appropriate to wear to some of the evening parties?  Thanks. 

Great questions, but you're clearly approaching the question of convention wardrobe using the wrong rubric. It's not really "suits or casual," it's, "Does it does show stains?" or "Can you wash it in the sink of the ladies' room?" Bonus question: "How easily does it come off?" (Not kidding: The convention is like a high school Model U.N.; few of those attending could get laid in the real world, but once among their own wonky kind, well, let the rutting begin!)

As for us, we were going to go with the clown suit, but Mr. Wonkette has mentioned something about a chastity belt. . .

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'Miga and Carlos' by Wonkette Operative 'Chica'

It's Father's Day, which means it's time for Yr Dok Zoom and his son to go to brunch and check out the downtown Boise Father's Day Car Show so we can ooh and ah over the very same Corvettes 'n' Mustangs 'n' lovingly-restored classic cars that are there every year, and I will probably once again point at the '68 Beetle converted to run on electricity and say, "Oh look, a Voltswagen!" Traditions matter. (Kid Zoom is 22, so I may also/instead meet him for cocktails later like grown up human people.)

Don't worry about any deep thoughts on the Meaning of Fatherhood here -- we're just going to enjoy the goofy side of dadding, which as far as I'm concerned is the best thing I've done with my time. Especially since my role model for parenting was the unnamed Dad from "Calvin and Hobbes."

As any fool knows, ice rises to the top of liquids because it's cold, and just wants to be closer to the sun so it can warm up. It's all in the book you get when you become a father.

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Spinal Tap - Gimme Some Money

Some dick is suing your Wonkette! If you are able, will you please send money?

1. Pick "just once" or "monthly."

2. Pick an amount, like say "all of the money."

3. Click "paypal" if you are paypal or "stripe" if you are not paypal.

4. MONEY.

5. Carry on with your day, and with new posts below!

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