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Wonkette Housekeeping, Convention Planning

First of all, we'd like to apologize for the number of typos in today's posts. Our spelling has never been that good, but today it seems to cross some heretofore unknown line between merely lazy and actually illiterate. Without our alert readers, it's possible that all of today's posts would simply be random, almost German-looking phrases separated by references to genitalia. But would anyone notice the difference?


As usual, we have an excellent excuse for these more-frequent-than-usual errors: We are more drunk than usual. What with the convention coming up, we're trying to increase our tolerance to alcohol to at least Barb-ian levels, if not quite Jenna-esque heights (oh, it is to dream. . . ). Sure, it's taking a toll on our spelling, but you should see our liver.

And speaking of convention planning, we've been meaning to respond to the correspondent who asked us about appropriate attire for the Boston gathering:

Dear Wonkette-

 

Could you give a political newbie some adive on the dress code for the Democratic Convention.  What would be appropriate to wear during the day, is it strictly suits or snappy casual?  Also what is appropriate to wear to some of the evening parties?  Thanks. 

Great questions, but you're clearly approaching the question of convention wardrobe using the wrong rubric. It's not really "suits or casual," it's, "Does it does show stains?" or "Can you wash it in the sink of the ladies' room?" Bonus question: "How easily does it come off?" (Not kidding: The convention is like a high school Model U.N.; few of those attending could get laid in the real world, but once among their own wonky kind, well, let the rutting begin!)

As for us, we were going to go with the clown suit, but Mr. Wonkette has mentioned something about a chastity belt. . .

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