OH HEY WONKERS HI HOW ARE YOU LOL! Ahem, so it is time for your weekly Top 10 list, and Wonkette's sexxxy exploits with the major (or even mayor) of Reykjavik are not the top story, but it's important that you know that we are now World Famous in Iceland. Expect our new series on Icelandic political dick jokes to start as soon as we have enough money to do so.
SPEAKING OF, if you love your Wonkette and you love our stories and you value how we find where in the world there are hot mayors and other world leaders and blog them at you, please to click this linkand throw $5, $10 or $25 at our faces, will ya? We work VERY hard for you, and we appreciate y'all very much, yes we do.
Oh look, making its second appearance, it's Wonkette baby Donna Rose, BEING A LION WHO IS ASKING YOU TO DONATE GENEROUSLY. We think we will just leave her there for the foreseeable future, so you know how serious we are about needing money dollars.
Give or the lion will GET YOU.
Shall we now count down the top 10 stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé, ALLEGEDLY? Yes we shall!
1. This week's Off The Menu stories were restaurant employees who failed so hard bro.
2. Salon sucks. Click to read why.
3. Brigham Young University is so mad at this one rape victim, for failing to uphold the honor code.
4. Ted Cruz Wishes Child Sex Slaves Would Think Of The Unborn Babies. Gonna leave that headline right there, as we are exceptionally proud of it. READ THE STORY RIGHT NOW.
5. That Ruby Tuesday story that went viral like herpes TWO WEEKS ago and was still going strong last week? It is number five this week. Read it if you haven't!
6. So, about Sexxxy Hot Dagur Eggertsson, the fine-ass mayor of Reykjavik, Iceland. He is fucking hot.
7. Here's an idea: Don't tell gay servers you hope they get stoned. At least not with rocks.
8. Sarah Palin debates cardboard cutout of Bill Nye the Science Guy on climate change. Loses debate.
9. Wingnuts are so mad about Harriet Tubman on the $20 bill, oh my god!
10. And finally,the Bundy gang get their day in court, as if "courts" have any jurisdiction over the Bundy gang, pfffffffft.
OK, Wonkers, you have one task left and this is it. You need to put Wonkette in your box. Your EMAIL BOX, we mean, stop unbuttoning your overalls!! It is for a newsletter, were we send you the secret jokes and the recaps and the special promotions. We promise not to share your information with anybody! We are fierce protectors of your PRIVACY.
While you are putting Wonkette in your box (AND SCROLLING BACK UP TO GIVE US $5, $15, or $25 BUCKS IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY) here's another fucking hot picture of that Icelandic mayor that we didn't use in our post:
YUM.
OK bye plz give us money.
Love,
Wonket
Wonkette Is World Famous In Iceland! Your Weekly Top Ten
True.
``Chicken once, chicken twice, Cooking chicken soup with rice...`. Now I have an earworm.