Wonkette Kiss-The-Baby Tour Rolling Into Santa Fe Tomorrow! (Today? Anyway, Wednesday)
Friends, outlaws, Americans! The Wonkette Wonkebago mini-tour of States That Are On The Way Home From Grandma's has officially begun! Won't you come and kiss our baby and give her the many germs she needs to grow strong and big? The answer is yes, you will come to the Black Canyon campground in the national forest somewhere eight milesish outside Santa Fe, New Mexico. You will bring something to grill with us, and maybe a beer, and maybe a present! Do not be shy or have severe phobias about how we will not like you! WE ALREADY DON'T LIKE YOU, just kidding, that was a joke. WE ALREADY LIKE YOU, because you are weird and smart and probably a nerd and maybe a hippie, so get your ass up to the Black Canyon campground, let's call it 5 to 8 p.m. Think how sad we will be if nobody comes! Do you want that on your head? OK, you probably do. The Wonker Nation is an antisocial nation, after all. But how will you find us? Oh, you'll know.
I am very sorry that our tour got shortened, but my mama was sick and I had to go throw things at her. Things like BABIES and MEDICINAL MEDICINE. So soon I will have for you dispatches from Oklahoma! You are probably very excited about that! Would you like a report on the city that is trying to fight the Indians? Or a report on canine sexual assault? LOL like you get to choose. Tell you what: I will write both!
From here, we'll do some Colorado; we're thinking Colorado Springs, Denver AND Boulder???!!! Yes, we're thinking so. And then a little bit of Utah, you tell us where, as long as it's sort of on the way to Montana, and you pay for it. Click RIGHT HERE to pay for it.
Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.