Wonkette Operatives Report From Across Texas!

Pity these poor, bored bastardsLast night the American people shed many tears and blood and sweat as they tried to strangle the infant Democratic primary process in its crib, and alas they did not succeed, so there will be elections every day for the next four years. But we rejoice to see so many Wonkette readers who care so deeply that they sent us hilarious tales from the caucuses. Mind-numbing boredom, police intervention, and Clinton babes, after the jump.

Wonkette Operative Jim, who submitted the above photo, writes:

We had 227 people turn out to caucus. That is up from 6 at the last caucus.

The procedure worked like this: First we signed in to support Clinton or Obama. They then counted the number of people signing in and apportioned the delegates based on those written preferences. Most people then left. The remaining people split into Clinton and Obama camps. Each group selected delegates to the county convention. Then we voted on 35 separate resolutions that will go up the chain of conventions to become planks in the party platform. The plank portion of the evening was mind numbing and we voted on nine of the planks all at once.

Man, that sounds awesome! Another dispatch from Operative Catherine describes POLICE INTERFERENCE, sort of:

It's taken me two hours to recover from the two hours spent at the nearby middle school (where they combined three precincts for caucus so three separate caucuses in one school auditorium occurred-fun!) the police came to announce, while we all stood in line to fill out a form to vote for the second time, that they were going to tow cars. They didn't feel the need to state that they'd be towing cars that were double parked or blocking driveways-the people who left came back to report that information, but only after they had freaked out and left.

Double-secret undercover operative Robert from Midland, George W. Bush's ancestral seat, writes:

We caucused 59 % for Obama and 41 % for Clinton. Our center city precinct is very diverse.

Caucusing is a redundant, inefficient process. But if I were single (I am not) it would have been a great night to pick up intense, serious, mature, hot Clinton babes. (I caucused for Obama but I think they would have forgiven me.)

And, finally, this graphic comes via a concerned reader who detected a frenzy of voting in sleepy Glasscock County.


Thank you all for making last night a little more bearable. Wyoming readers, we're counting on you on Saturday!


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc