The Jell-O Recipe That Mamie Eisenhower Used To Win The Cold War
Here is your bit of "DC gossip" for the day: a Jell-o dessert recipe, for the holiday of Thanksgiving! It is Mamie Eisenhower's famed Red Scare Thanksgiving Jell-o Dessert and it is best served chilled, to family members you hate. (There is Mamie right there with "friend" Lenora Hickock, feeding each other Jell-O and giggling knowingly.) This vile thing is exactly what the Eisenhowers used to force-feed the Soviets, and it is delicious!
It's Buttercup Squash Pie For Thanksgiving, Because SHUT UP, PUMPKINS
Yes, it's very similar to pumpkin or sweet potato pie, but it's different enough to generate conversation and non-traditional enough to deter your reactionary uncle from even tasting it. Buttercup squash are squat, ugly little bastards. If you can't find one, you can do this with butternut or acorn squash, or some combination of all of them. We're using buttercup squash mostly because we love Gilbert and Sullivan.
Ingredients
1 pie dough in a pie pan (Here's Mojopo's recipe, but you only need half of it)
1 buttercup squash (alternatively 1 butternut or 2 acorn squash)
1 cup sugar
1 cup milk
2 shots of dark rum
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon ginger (the dried powder kind)
1/4 teaspoon allspice
1/4 teaspoon mace
3 eggs, separated (plus the yolk leftover from making this)
Directions:
Set the oven to 400° F. Cut the squash in half, around its equator, and scoop out the seeds with a spoon.
Line a cookie sheet with tin foil, and put a little water on it. Place the squash halves, cut side down, on the cookie sheet, and bake until soft, about 30 minutes.
Carefully remove the skin from the squash, put the flesh in a large bowl, and mash it with your potato masher.
Let that cool (put the bowl outside, if it's cold where you live) while you get your pie dough into the pan.
Turn the oven up to 425° F.
The squash cool enough to handle? Great! Add to it the spices, sugar, milk, egg yolks, and half of the rum. Beat that until it is fully combined and smooth.
Drink the other shot of rum. (That's what they call a "tot" on the HMS Pinafore.)
Now, whip the egg whites until stiff but not dry.
Fold the egg whites into the squash mixture. Do you know how to do that? Mix 1/3 of the whites into the squash stuff with a whisk. Add half of what's left of the egg whites (or another 1/3 of the original amount for you algebra enthusiasts) and run your rubber spatula or wooden spoon along the bottom of the bowl away from yourself, then kinda scoop it back toward you, "folding" the mixture over the whites. Turn the bowl a quarter turn and repeat. Do this until the egg whites are fully incorporated. Gently fold in the remaining egg whites until it's almost all the way incorporated, but a few small streaks of white remain.
Pour the filling into the prepared pie dough. This is going to be way more than you need for one 9-inch pie, so be creative with the rest or throw it away.
Put it in the oven for 10 minutes, then reduce the heat to 300° F. Bake for an additional hour or so, until a toothpick comes out clean and the crust is golden brown and delicious.
If your Thanksgiving host is any damn good at hosting Thanksgiving, there will be plenty of whipped cream available to dollop on slices. We're eating it with vanilla ice cream today for our health. We will wait until next week to begin drinking heavy cream by the quart.
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Put Thanksgiving In Your Mouth With Grown-Up Baked Mac And Cheese, For Grown-Ups
Ingredients
1 box of Casarecce pasta, boiled and drained
¾ stick of butter, sliced
½ c. all-purpose flour
4 c. milk (1 quart okay!)
3 c. extra-sharp cheddar, shredded
½ small wheel of Brie, skin removed
¼ c. crumbled bleu cheese
½ c. Parmesan cheese
Topping
1 c. breadcrumbs
1 c. of cheddar
¼ c. Parmesan cheese
Preheat the oven to 350º. In a large saucepan, melt the butter on medium heat and mix in the flour until smooth and bubbly. Pour in milk and stir continuously, to thicken the béchamel sauce. Turn the heat to low and stir in the cheese. When it has melted completely, remove from heat and pour in the pasta. Stir it gently.
Lightly grease a large casserole pan. Pour in the cheese and pasta and spread it evenly. Shake the remaining cheeses and breadcrumbs in a (sealed) freezer bag until well blended. Top the pasta and bake for about 30 minutes.
No, of course this didn't sound difficult. That's because it wasn't you doing it.
Everyone in my house was very comforted with mac and cheese for grown-ups. We hugged, AND I managed to clean out the cheese drawer before Christmas. You want lunch? That is good information, and you're taking some green beans with you, too. Enjoy!
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