Recipe Hub
Recipe Hub: Stracciatella, A Soup Made Of Things Likely to Be In Your Fridge Right Now
It's also pretty good!
February 09, 2020 03:34 PM
Sometimes, in life, it is February and it is snowing and you maybe stayed out too late last night, and you don't have a fully stocked fridge but also don't feel like running to the grocery store because you would much prefer to lie in bed and feel very cozy and watch British murder mystery shows and think of a good excuse for not attending an Oscar thing. That may seem like a very specific situation, but I believe it is probably at least somewhat universal. In spirit.
SO! What I am making for lunch today is a very good and comforting soup that I can make with things that happen to be in my kitchen right now. It's stracciatella, which is kind of an Italian egg drop soup. And yes, it is also a kind of ice cream but we are not making ice cream. Who makes ice cream in February?
<p><br>The main things you need to make it are chicken broth, Parmesan cheese (or Parmesan-Reggiano, your choice), eggs, and nothing that isn't already in your spice cabinet. It's kind of one of those things where what you put in it after that really depends on what you have on hand. </p><p>Here's the basics:</p><p>Chicken broth, however much you want<br>1 egg for every cup of chicken broth<br>Salt and Pepper, to your taste (my taste is "all the pepper") <br>Whatever seasonings you like (I usually put some onion powder in there, a little cayenne if I wanna clear my sinuses, basil, parsley, the usual) <br>Parmesan cheese, probably like a tablespoon per cup? </p><p>So, you're gonna crack the eggs, put your seasonings and cheese in and whisk it all up. Put it aside. Then heat up the chicken broth on the stove for a bit. Then, while it's simmering, gently pour your egg mixture in and stir until the eggs look cooked, and then you're done. Ta-da!</p><p>And here's some other stuff you can add, if you want: </p><p>Spinach (that's kind of the traditional Roman way of doing things, frozen is totally fine)<br>Fresh Parsley (in this case, put some in the egg mixture, some in the soup itself) <br>Escarole<br>Whatever other kind of leafy green you have on hand and like in your soup<br>Garlic powder (fine, you're probably not supposed to but I do anyway)<br>Cayenne or red pepper (good if you've got a sinus thing) <br>Semolina flour (this thickens the soup and makes it a little heartier — if I'm making one serving I usually put like a teaspoon in)<br>A little olive oil<br>Pine nuts<br>Ditalini or acini di pepe pasta (we used to call it "baby teeth pasta," no idea how universal that is) <br>Nutmeg<br>Breadcrumbs (also for thickening, will probably use these today since I'm not sure I have Semolina)<br>Cannellini beans<br>Tiny meatballs</p><p>Really, the possibilities are pretty much endless and depend entirely on what you like in your soup/happen to have that day, which I think is most people's preferred method of cooking anyway. It's mine at least. </p><p>And now, I'm gonna go actually make that, and you all may talk amongst yourselves in the open thread! Enjoy!</p><p><strong>Wonkette is independent and fully funded by readers like you. Click below to tip us!</strong></p><p></p><form name="donation" method="post" class="donation-form"><p class="subheadline">How often would you like to donate?</p><div class="form-row row--plan"><label class="plan-type__label"><input type="radio" name="plan_type" value="once" class="plan-type" required="" checked> Just once
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Recipe Hub
Excuse Me, But Some Tennessee Republican Regularly Chugs Straight Chocolate Syrup And I Have Questions
With a side of cheese crackers.
February 04, 2020 05:19 PM
You know, you spend as much time on the internet and watching trashy TLC shows as I do, and you think you've seen everyone eat everything possible. I've seen rats eating pizza, high schoolers eating spoonfuls of cinnamon, a woman who was addicted to eating couch cushions and another woman who ate the ashes of her dead husband. Also I dated a pretentious film guy in college who made me watch Salo. I am not new! And generally, I don't judge people for what they eat (unless they try to serve me a Caprese sandwich with a giant pile of freaking arugula on it, in which case I will be mad for weeks). Never yuck someone else's yum, I say!
However.
I came across a tweet featuring Tennessee state Rep. Kent Calfee listening to the State of the State address, while casually sipping on a bottle of Hershey's chocolate syrup — as he, reportedly, "often does" during legislative sessions.
<p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-twitter_embed">
<iframe width="100%" height="150" scrolling="no" class="rm-shortcode twitter-embed-1224481603570872320" id="twitter-embed-1224481603570872320" type="lazy-iframe" data-runner-src="/res/community/twitter_embed/?iframe_id=twitter-embed-1224481603570872320&created_ts=1580774138.0&screen_name=natalie_allison&text=As+he+waits+for+the+State+of+the+State+to+begin%2C+Rep.+Kent+Calfee+takes+a+swig+of+from+his+Hershey%E2%80%99s+chocolate+syru%E2%80%A6+https%3A%2F%2Ft.co%2F0BgxkkPbSW&id=1224481603570872320&name=Natalie+Allison" frameborder="0" data-rm-shortcode-id="54WNOC1580853914"></iframe>
</p><p>Excuse me? </p><p>Several people have suggested that the bottle is perhaps filled with booze, which would be significantly less unsettling than <em>straight chocolate syrup</em>. Drunks I get! But chocolate syrup? Straight chocolate syrup from the bottle? So casually? Where does one pick up such a habit, and how is he not embarrassed?</p><p>And not only is this guy chugging straight chocolate syrup, he is — as you can see if you click on the picture in the tweet — also eating cheese crackers. Chocolate syrup and cheese crackers. What a combination! What that would do to one's mouth, I could not even begin to imagine. </p><p>But not for long!</p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMjY1MzY5My9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzMTY5MDIyMX0.iAXVjgwktx2SqUij9FKfNdLt415mX-WVnkzttFimyug/img.jpg?width=980" id="16dce" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="6f84394ac26c70f0778e906e3757c384" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image">
</p><p>You see, I am writing this Monday night while watching the Iowa caucuses, which means I am about two glasses into bottle of cat wine myself. Not wine made from cats, mind you, which is not a thing — and not wine <em>for</em> cats, <a href="https://www.apollopeak.com/catwine" target="_blank">which is</a> — <a href="https://www.totalwine.com/wine/white-wine/riesling/moselland-black-cat-riesling/p/100651500" target="_blank">but wine in a cat shaped bottle</a>. Everything is delayed and no one knows what is happening! It's actually pretty boring right now and honestly I need a distraction. </p><p>I'm just going to assume that Rep. Calfee's system is to eat a cracker and then take a big swig of the chocolate syrup to wash it down. So that's what I'm going to do. Right now. </p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-youtube">
<span style="display:block;position:relative;padding-top:56.25%;" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="7f4da29ec00219b94d5cb272251db4a0"><iframe type="lazy-iframe" data-runner-src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/X4jbq9SVxAc?rel=0" width="100%" height="auto" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" style="position:absolute;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;"></iframe></span>
<small class="image-media media-photo-credit" placeholder="Add Photo Credit...">
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4jbq9SVxAc" target="_blank">www.youtube.com</a>
</small>
</p><p>YEP. That is absolutely disgusting. </p><p>In fact, I think drinking the chocolate syrup after eating cheese crackers is probably more gross than drinking straight chocolate syrup by itself. Though I don't think that would be very good either. And I like chocolate! But I assure you, this is not good and you should not try it at home. </p><p>UNTIL REBECCA PUTS UP A NON-SOTU LIVESTREAM LATER, THIS IS NOW YOUR OPEN THREAD. </p><p>[<a href="https://twitter.com/natalie_allison/status/1224481603570872320" target="_blank">Twitter</a>]</p><p><span></span><strong>Wonkette is independent and fully funded by readers like you. Click below to tip us!</strong></p><p></p><form name="donation" method="post" class="donation-form"><p class="subheadline">How often would you like to donate?</p><div class="form-row row--plan"><label class="plan-type__label"><input type="radio" name="plan_type" value="once" class="plan-type" required="" checked> Just once
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Sportsball
Hey! Do You Still Need Some Food To Make For The Super Bowl? We've Got You Covered!
Sports! (Also your open thread)
February 01, 2020 05:31 PM
Hey! So tomorrow is the Super Bowl! It's the Chiefs vs. The 49ers, and they're gonna play some football, I guess. More importantly, there will be a halftime show featuring Jennifer Lopez and Shakira, and that sounds awesome.
Anyway, people like to eat at Super Bowl parties, and we here at Wonkette have a whole bunch of recipes for things you can eat (or drink) at your Super Bowl parties while I am here tomorrow (and then going to a bar without TVs to not watch football in).
We do not recommend making Rush Limbaugh's mom's horrifying Jello recipe with pinapple, olives, Miracle Whip and cream cheese, unless you hate everyone coming over to your house and want them to leave so that you, too, can find a bar without any TVs.
<p>But here are some other things that are actually good and that might kind of work for a Super Bowl party. </p><p><a href="https://www.wonkette.com/sunday-bloody-mary-sunday" target="_blank">Bloody Marys!</a></p><p><a href="https://www.wonkette.com/make-thanksgiving-monkey-bread-with-nancy-reagan-forever" target="_blank">Nancy Reagan's Monkey Bread!</a></p><p><a href="https://www.wonkette.com/potato-chip-cookies-no-seriously" target="_blank">Potato Chip Cookies!</a></p><p><a href="https://www.wonkette.com/eat-ribs-now" target="_blank">Ribs!</a></p><p><a href="https://www.wonkette.com/lets-make-sammiches-yes-the-boys-too" target="_blank">Sandwiches!</a> (Although <em>for the record</em>, I aggressively disagree with that tuna salad recipe — tuna fish, mayo, a fuckton of celery seed and a fuckton of onion powder and a bunch of Cape Cod potato chips on top is the way to go, if you ask me, but I am a simple gal)</p><p><a href="https://www.wonkette.com/the-best-chili-you-will-ever-taste" target="_blank">Chili!</a> </p><p><a href="https://www.wonkette.com/embrace-your-inner-oligarch-and-eat-raw-meat" target="_blank">Beef Carpaccio!</a> </p><p><a href="https://www.wonkette.com/recipe-hub-make-these-way-easy-grape-and-brie-quesadillas-nom-nom-nom" target="_blank">Grape and Brie Quesadillas!</a><br></p><p><a href="https://www.wonkette.com/appetizer-recipe-to-end-all-recipes-dates-bacon-blue-cheese-and-toasted-pecans" target="_blank">Some Bacon and Date and Blue Cheese Appetizer Things!</a></p><p><a href="https://www.wonkette.com/recipe-hub-rhode-island-pizza-strips-the-delicious-pizza-you-can-serve-to-your-vegan-friends" target="_blank">And Maybe That Pizza I Told You How To Make Last Week! </a></p><p>Although you can never go wrong with a cheese plate. Even if someone else has also brought a cheese plate. No one is ever gonna be like "Oh no, now we have too much cheese, whatever will we do?"</p><p>Anyway, this is now your open thread! Talk amongst yourselves!</p><p><strong>Wonkette is independent and fully funded by readers like you. Click below to tip us!</strong></p><p></p><form name="donation" method="post" class="donation-form"><p class="subheadline">How often would you like to donate?</p><div class="form-row row--plan"><label class="plan-type__label"><input type="radio" name="plan_type" value="once" class="plan-type" required="" checked> Just once
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Recipe Hub
Recipe Hub: Rhode Island Pizza Strips, The Delicious Pizza You Can Serve To Your Vegan Friends
Also this is your open thread!
January 26, 2020 04:14 PM
Sometimes, the best food is the most simple food. One of my most favorite snacks in the world, ever since I was a kid, are pizza strips. Tragically, they are yet another food that somehow pretty much only exists in Rhode Island. If you are there for some reason, I highly recommend the ones at Crugnale Bakery in Cranston (although honestly, even the ones you can buy at gas stations sometimes are delicious). They're referred to by a variety of names — pizza strips, red strips, bakery pizza and party pizza (because every party you ever go to has a giant pile of them, usually cut into squares) — but they're all the same thing.
Of course, they're super easy to make yourself, and I do it all the time, because I am lazy and because now my roommate loves them also.
<p>This is an extremely simple recipe, and yet, pretty much all of the recipes for them online are wrong. This is largely because of this cookbook, "The Providence and Rhode Island Cook Book," that tells people to put three teaspoons of salt in the sauce for the pizza, and to use an 18x24 inch pan for one pound of dough. I don't know if it's a typo or just some kind of glaring error or if the person who came up with it is actually insane, but if you do that, they will be absolutely inedible. They will also be completely inedible if you put three tablespoons of sugar in the sauce, as another recipe I found online suggests. People are monsters. It's literally just seasoned crushed tomatoes on pizza dough! It is not that hard! </p><p>You will need. </p><ul class="ee-ul"> <li>1-2lbs of pizza dough (I prefer a thicker crust, so I usually use 2), or even one of those Pillsbury pizza crusts that come in the can. </li><li>Half a can of crushed tomatoes (the regular 28oz cans)</li><li>Salt</li><li>Black Pepper</li><li>Sugar</li><li>Olive oil</li><li>Basil</li><li>Oregano</li><li>Minced Garlic</li><li>Sugar</li><li>Red Pepper (optional) </li><li>Parmesan-Romano (optional)</li><li>Meat dripping (also optional</li><li>9x13 baking pan (or whatever, really)</li></ul><p>Roll your dough until it's about the size of the baking pan. Then, grease the baking pan with olive oil. Start preheating your oven to 400. </p><p>Grab a bowl, pour the crushed tomatoes in (I usually just use the whole can and then throw the rest in the fridge or make two pizzas). I do two twists of salt on my grinder and no more than that, I guess if you don't have a grinder, about two shakes or a pinch, and like a half teaspoon of sugar (that's to take away the metal taste from the can). After that, you can just do the other seasonings in whatever proportions you like. If you're lazy, you can also just use one of those "Italian Seasonings" shakers. </p><p>Optionally! If you're not serving vegans or vegetarians and have some meat drippings from the last time you cooked, you can put about a tablespoon of that in there. That's what my Nonnie does, but I've never bothered with it. </p><p>Once you're done with that, you pour the crushed tomatoes onto the dough. It's gonna be THICK, not like when you're putting sauce on dough for regular pizza where you're gonna be putting cheese on top of it. </p><p>Then, drizzle some olive oil on top of the sauce. This is where, if you want (I usually don't want), you can sprinkle some Parmesan or Romano or Parmesan-Romano on top. </p><p>Then stick it in the oven for about 15 minutes. Take it out, let it cool all the way, and then cut it into strips or squares. Usually, once they're cooled off, I'll wrap the strips in Saran wrap and put them in the fridge or in some Tupperware and keep them on the counter. </p><p>Now, unlike other pizzas, you don't eat this hot. <em>You eat it at room temperature.</em> Or even cold. So like, don't eat them until at least a couple hours after you've made them. They're actually *best* the day after you make them, because that way all of the seasonings seep into the crust. </p><p>And that's it! As boring as it sounds, I swear they're like crack. And as a bonus, they're great for parties both because they're super easy and fast and aren't eaten hot, but also because they're vegan so long as you don't put cheese on them or do that meat drippings thing. Ta-da! </p><p>Anyway, this is now your open thread! </p><p><strong>Wonkette is independent and fully funded by readers like you. Click below to tip us!</strong></p><p></p><form name="donation" method="post" class="donation-form"><p class="subheadline">How often would you like to donate?</p><div class="form-row row--plan"><label class="plan-type__label"><input type="radio" name="plan_type" value="once" class="plan-type" required="" checked> Just once
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