Wonkette Reports In: Security Issues

Security here at the Fleet Center started out as heavy and now threatens to interfere with the Earth's rotation. The newest example of the Democrat's nanny mini-state? They stopped the donut truck from coming in.

To appreciate the gravity of this situation, you must understand that Dunkin' Donuts is one of the two options available. (The other is Macdonald's. We'll see if they let the meat wagon through.) One wonders what threat donuts posed -- cholesterol seems an extremely inefficient medium for a terrorist attack. But then again, it probably would be more effective than the whole bombing-us-with-gay-married-couples plan that Santorum seems so worried about.


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