Wonkette's Top Ten Can Help You Be A Model Or Just Look Like One

Wonkette's Top Ten Can Help You Be A Model Or Just Look Like One

Max and Fred, courtesy of Bob

Hello and welcome to the weekend!

First, some business. Shocking as this may be to believe, I am starting to run low on cat pictures (and pictures of other pets) for the "top ten" posts. So if you would like your kitty (or dog, or bird, or ... I think we had a chicken one time?) to be Wonkette famous, send a 600x900 picture of them to me at robyn@wonkette.com. Please do not send me anything that's ... not that.

Anyway, here is a super weird video that I am now a little bit obsessed with — from some '90s (it *says* 90s, but those hairstyles say '80s) salon called "Styles on Video" where you could "try on" a bunch of hair styles before getting one. Which you can do now pretty easily. Hell, you can do it with makeup, which is how I spent four hours on the M.A.C. site last week.

Ah, the future!

Styles On Video "Paige" Tape (c.1993)www.youtube.com

Honestly, I am totally ready for big hair to make a comeback, mostly because I am an Italian woman from the east coast, but also I'm loving all of the oversized fashion lately. I have been waiting my entire damn life to wear shoulder pads, and I could not be happier that this time has finally arrived. Also giant sleeves. I love giant sleeves. I'm going to buy fabric and add giant sleeves to everything I own, because fuck normal sized sleeves. I am considering buying a Selkie puff dress (or a knockoff thereof) and I don't even care how Baby Jane it is.

Honestly it's possible that the combination of the pandemic and having literally been inside, surrounded by two feet of snow outside for the last five days, watching Project Runway, is getting to me. But I am all about women taking up space both metaphorically and literally, with giant sleeves and ridiculous organza dresses.

And with THAT to think about, I bring you our top ten stories of the week.

10. Parental 'Concern' Over Masks, CRT And Books Is Being Brought To You By Groups Who Hate Public Schools

9. DeSantis Press Secretary Christina Pushaw Is Just Really Good At Her Job

8. Facebook Stock Tanked Because It SUCKS

7. Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Tijuana Breakfast!

6. Something Something Charlie Kirk Transgender Exoskeleton Goggle Sex Robots

5. Is There A Michigan Crazy Person Who ISN'T Running Against Gretchen Whitmer?

4. New Kid Rock Song Is Actual Worst Piece Of Sh*t Ever Made, Click Here To Laugh At It

3. Money. Baby. Rabbit. Camera. Wonkette.

2. Is Ben Shapiro Smarter Than A Fifth Grader

1. Joni Mitchell To Show Spotify They Won't Know What They've Got Til It's Gone

And with that, I leave you to talk amongst yourselves, until I come back with something else!

Did reading these stories give you a sudden urge to shower us with money and jewels? If so, you can join our Patreon, or buy our merch, or do your Amazon shopping through our link, or even send a check in the mail to


PO Box 361

Polson MT 59860

or use this handy widget below! Just click the amount you want to donate, click one-time or monthly, and then be sure to click "Paypal" if you are Paypal or "Stripe" if you don't have Paypal, or your money will not go through!

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc