Wonkette's Weekly Top Ten Promises Healthier, Shinier Hair

News

Check out these dapper rescue tuxedo cats, James and Taz, courtesy of Wonkette operative GDR

Happy Saturday!

How's tricks? This is a very lovely and beautiful Saturday morning and I am thrilled to bring you all the news that that hard candy I like is coming back in style.

I am just so happy I could cry. Creme Savers were the most perfect purse candy of all time (they beat out the strawberry candies where the wrapper looks like a strawberry in my personal rankings based on packaging alone — far better lint protection from the Creme Savers), and it is practically a war crime that they were discontinued. Glad to see them back, have fingers crossed for the strawberry cheesecake flavor, which was art. It is honestly going to be incredibly difficult for me to care about literally anything else today.


Here are your top ten posts of the week! You are welcome!

10. Greenville SC Citizen Gives School Board Master Class In How To dO yOuR oWn rEsErAch — Evan

9. Voters Probably Won't Punish Democrats If They Act More Like Cary Grant And Harrison Ford — Stephen

8. Genius Bodybuilders Canceling Arnold Schwarzenegger For BECAUSE THEY'RE MAD AT HIM, OK? — Evan

7. Herschel Walker Moves Back To Georgia, Decides To Run For Senate, Sure Why Not — Liz

6. Congress In Rare Bipartisan Agreement On Hating Dem Rep. Seth Moulton Right Now — Evan

5. Woman Claims Vaccines Are A Secret Plot To Make Us Glow Under Black Light — Robyn

4. Joe Biden, What Did You Do In The Forever War? — Rebecca

3. Weird Few Days For InfoWars — Evan

2. PSA: Don't Go Taking Horse Pills Unless You Are Literally A Horse, Which You Probably Are Not — Robyn

1. Trump Booed At Own Rally, Some Supporters Think He Did It On Purpose — Robyn

Did reading these stories give you a sudden urge to shower us with money and jewels? If so, you can join our Patreon, or buy our merch, or do your Amazon shopping through our link, or even send a check in the mail to

Wonkette

PO Box 361

Polson MT 59860

or use this handy widget below! Just click the amount you want to donate, click one-time or monthly, and then be sure to click "Paypal" if you are Paypal or "Stripe" if you are not Paypal, or your money will not go through!

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc