Wonkette Top Ten Is Hiding Our Fentanyl In Tampons

Wonkette Top Ten Is Hiding Our Fentanyl In Tampons

Lizzie the sheltie and Arka the fox terrier pup, brought to you by Wonkette reader Caleb W.

Good morning!

Well, last week I asked you guys for pictures of your cats and other non-cat pets and boy did you all ever deliver! It is an embarrassment of riches, truly.

Anyway, here are your top ten posts of the week!

10. Happy Father's Day From Wonkette! — By me, Robyn. Though I feel relatively sure that you guys only clicked on this one a bunch because it was the open thread and not because you just happen to love Brian Stokes Mitchell like I love Brian Stokes Mitchell (What can I say, I dig a baritone.)

9. Sovereign Citizens Try To Steal Woman's New House, Claiming It's Theirs — Also me. Should probably check for updates on this, because I need to know how that is going.

8. Good Lord, The One Million Moms Are Still So Mad At Cereal — So mad! This is another one from me. I do not rig these I swear.

7. Happy Juneteenth, Happy Summer, Happy WONKMEET TONIGHT! — You guys were obviously very excited to meet Rebecca, and I do not blame you! She's pretty great!

6. Leave Monica Alone! — Hi ... Me again.

5. St. Louis TV Network Launches Hilarious Reefer Madness Remake — From Liz! Apparently the teens are hiding their fentanyl pills in tampons now, which just sounds extremely plausible, just like rainbow parties.

4. Chris Cillizza Identifies Most Important News Paragraph Of Day, It Is Some Sh*t About Ivanka — From Evan. Never mind all the other paragraphs! Just read this paragraph!

3. Wingnut World Crumbles Over Macy Gray Suggesting We Change The Flag — I PLAY IT OFF BUT I'M DREAMING OF YOU.

2. MyPillow Guy Reschedules Trump's Triumphant Return For 'Fall' — Wait! We thought it was August. He's been saying August. Oh well! Enjoy this one from Evan.

1. Former Proud Boys Shocked To Find Hate Group They Joined So Full Of Hate — Who would have thought?

Also. I'm not going to tell you guys why I was Googling to find out whether or not I could ride a llama (ok fine, it is because I thought I would look cool riding a llama), but you need to know that there is a WikiHow for riding a llama that explicitly says that only children under 50lbs should ride llamas, and then proceeds to offer instructions for what very much appears to be llama riding for adults.

"Have someone else soothe the llama and hold the reins"

This is clearly a adult woman riding a llama and not a 50lb child.

Whose job is it to illustrate these things?!? According to a little notification at the bottom of the article, 42 people collaborated on this Llama riding article.

wikiHow is a "wiki," similar to Wikipedia, which means that many of our articles are co-written by multiple authors. To create this article, 42 people, some anonymous, worked to edit and improve it over time. This article has been viewed 113,935 times.

I continue to have questions. But I'm not going to ask them now, I am going to take a nice walk and I will see you all in a bit!

Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse


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