Happy Festivus weekend, Wonkers! Hope you're ready for the Airing of Grievances! Our greatest grievance is, of course, that we can only bring Wonkette to you a mere 7 days a week, and worse, on some of those days, you may still miss some of our Wonkings because of things like a "job," a "family," or a "life." Happily, the weekend is a great time to catch up on some of our best stuff, and so we bring you this feature, in which we count down the ten best stories of the week -- or at least most-shared on the Facebooks, which is pretty much the same thing. Don't see your favorite story here? Maybe your tastes are not in line with those of your peers. Have you considered conformity? Oh, or you could make a point of clicking "share" a bunch more! That may be an even better way to express your individuality, you exceptional American, you.

And so, to our Top Ten:

10: For the first time, a recipe breaks into the top ten! You must really love these date-bacon-blue-cheese-pecan appetizers! And also recipe hub maven Mojopo, whose farewell post this was. She's got some other "job," at which she's no doubt busy excelling, and Fitzgerald Chesterfield has stepped into the Wonkette Test Kitchen.

9: Rachel Maddow tried to make sense of why Oklahoma Sen. Tom Coburn would block a bill to prevent suicides by veterans. Could be he's just a dick that way.

8: The War on Hanukkah continued with a Massachusetts city councilor explaining, at a menorah lighting, how Hanukkah is all about Jesus.

7: A San Jose policeman let the world know that he's very fond of his power to kill, for anyone who might think that their life matters.

6: More Hanukkah gaiety, as Rick Perry issued an important message about how the Maccabees were just exactly like the patriots at the Boston Tea Party, proving he's serious about becoming historian in chief.

5: Tennessee finally decided to join the Affordable Care Act's expansion of Medicaid coverage, just as long as they didn't have to give any credit to Barack Obama for it.

4: After cops shot a man to death for carrying a BB gun that he'd picked up from a shelf in Walmart, an Ohio supercop grilled the victim's girlfriend, because she had to be guilty of something.

3: Rachel Maddow introduced us to the parents who got Congress to increase help for prevention of suicide by veterans... and to Tom Coburn, the senator who thinks preventing suicide is a little too pricey.

2: It turns out that Fox News's favorite witness in the Darren Wilson grand jury was almost certainly nowhere near the shooting of Michael Brown. Lying doesn't make her a bad witness, does it?

1: In a pleasant surprise for fans of functional government, the Senate finally confirmed Surgeon General nominee Vivek Murthy, even though medical experts at the NRA didn't approve.

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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