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We remember those happy Thanksgiving evenings when, after the f'ball was over, the networks would show a fine old classic movie: The Sound of Music, or maybe Mary Poppins. Well, at Your Wonkette, we have some classic family viewing from 1965, although it pains us to report that Julie Andrews does not seem to be in these: A reel of delightful Rural Civil Defense TV Spots from 1965, courtesy of the Internet Archive! Watch as a charmingly relatable papier-mache marionette farmer prepares to survive the fallout from a nuclear holocaust -- we like how one of his pipe-cleaner eybrows is arched just so.


Also strangely reassuring is the gently chiding voice of the narrator:

  • "Keep calm -- panic only wastes valuable time."
  • "You could have made things easier for youself by preparing all these things before the emergency occurred"
  • Yeah, you slacker! Now that the fallout's a-comin' you wish you hadn't spent all that time readin' yer fancy agronomy books, dontcha?

    Also, there's the cheerful suggestion that global thermonuclear war will just be a minor inconvenience:

  • "Suppose you don't have a fallout shelter, and you have several hours of warning after the attack, but before the radioactive fallout reaches your area"
  • That's awesome! I'll have time to tidy up a little!

  • "Remember, the important point about radioactive fallout is shielding. The more shielding between you and the radiation, the more protection."
  • Yes, but what if I'm just confusing shielding with emotional distance?

    Watch these with your kids. We hear kids just LOVE puppets!

    You know what else kids love? We mean, besides cleaning up their school as part of Newt Gingrich's Urban Responsibility Corps, of course. That's right, comic books. Kids just love comic books! So to make it a theme night, here's a link to a 1953 story about the blessings of the atom, Andy's Atomic Adventures. Thrill to the story of a little boy who live right next to the Nevada nuclear testing range, and whose mom is getting "treatments" for an unspecified something or other, we don't know what, but Our Friend the Atom will help make her all better! Comic is from Pappy's Golden Age Comics Blogzine, a treasure trove of strange old graphic arts -- check the other weirdass offerings they have! We were disappointed, however, that we could not find a copy of the exciting 1992 sequel, Andy's Big Downwinder Lawsuit.

    UPDATE: Because we just saw this silly thing on Twitter:

    Assume dear derped.

    [Internet Archive / Pappy's Golden Age Comics]

    Doktor Zoom

    Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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    Robbin Young. Fair use so we can all see the boob picture she sent to her 12 true loves.

    Robbin Young starred in the Roger Moore masterpiece For Your Eyes Only as the seventh female lead, "Girl in Flower Shop." She also starred in a bunch of Playboys, and the DM's of a humble Romanian hacker who stole her heart. But he was not a humble Romanian hacker, he was 12 Russian military intelligence officers in a trench coat. And now Young has shared those DMs and pictures of her buzzies with the Sun, because that's the one that's fookin' classy.

    See how she loved! See how Guccifer ghosted her ass! See how she loves him (them) still! See how she was all up in Seth Rich and shit! (We think Young's judgment might not be awesome.) Also she wrote this "erotic poem," and we're going to need you to read it.

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    And now it is time for your weekly reminder that in the Trump era, FUCKING APESHIT OUTRAGE WORKS.

    On Monday, Donald Trump, the transactional president who for some godforsaken reason sees Vladimir Putin has his one true father, discussed making an Art Of The Deal with Russia that involved letting Robert Mueller interrogate the Russian spies who hacked America in 2016 (with Russian supervision, of course, in Russia) in exchange for sending Putin whichever American citizens hurt Putin's poor fragile butthurt pansy-ass feelings the past several years. One of Putin's targets is Michael McFaul, the former ambassador to Russia, whom Putin just hates. Hillary Clinton isn't on the official list yet, but give it a few weeks.

    On Wednesday, Sarah Huckabee Sanders looked at reporters and told them Trump's people were considering the idea, but hadn't decided yet, because it's so hard for the Trump administration to decide how many treasons to do per week.

    But hooray! The White House has decided that, after literally every American with a patriotic bone in his or her body said, "THE FUCK YOU SAY," they will not send Americans to Putin's gulag after all. The Washington Post reports:

    The White House announced Trump's opposition Thursday as the Senate prepared to vote on a resolution telling the president not to honor Putin's request, which would have exposed former U.S. ambassador Michael McFaul, among others, to Russian questioning.

    "It is a proposal that was made in sincerity by President Putin, but President Trump disagrees with it," White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said in a statement.

    Oh my fucking Lord, Shuckabee, did you really type that Putin's offer was "sincere," or did Donald grab the statement after you finished with it and add those words in illiterate Sharpie in the margins, along with "DOES NOT MEAN PUTIN IS NOT MY BEST FRIEND" and "NO COLLUSION"?

    By the way, that resolution passed the Senate with flying colors:

    WOMP WOMP, Trump! Sorry American freedom and democracy stepped all over your dick again! Guarantee it's gonna happen again! Go fuck yourself! Enjoy the 48 Big Macs you have for dinner tonight! Don't talk directly into the soccer ball Putin gave you, 'less you want it to talk back to you in Russian!

    OK post over.

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    Help Wonkette LIVE FOREVER! Seriously, if you can, please help, by making a donation of MONEY.

    [Washington Post]

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