Wonkette has many irregular features, including a very long scar and one eyebrow that is higher than the other. Regular features are harder to come by, as those of you who have written in wondering whatever happened to "Thursdays with Tina," "The Hit Parade," and "Wonk'd" can attest. We are currently in the process of reviewing our capacity to sustain a relationship with a feature (it took us 27 years to figure out how to sustain one with a person, so, please, some patience). There are also some new features in our life, some of which you might be seeing this week. We welcome feedback on this issue.
Not that we'll listen.