* President Bush moves to replace Gale Norton as Interior Secretary with Dirk Kempthorne -- who may have some skeletons in his closet (and is less popular than Spuddy Buddy).

* Howard Dean succumbs to March Madness -- and finally has good reason to scream.

* Jessica Simpson graces Capitol Hill with her luminous presence -- but doesn't meet President Bush or swing by Smith Point.

* John Ashcroft sells out and cashes in.

* Tom Malin sits for an exclusive interview with Wonkette. He adores Katherine Harris. Check out this photo of her, and this one. Can you blame him?

* Our new favorite catchphrase: "The pony in slavery." We are kinda obsessed with it and its insane originator, Adele Fergusen.

* Our second favorite catchphrase: "I Did Not Blog." Commemorative t-shirt sold separately.

* A bunch of Republicans get stuck in an elevator.

* From the "we're scared shitless" department: Chris Matthews has supernatural powers. Jessica Cutler will be getting her own TV show.

* Finally, from the "not exactly news" department: Barbara Bush gets drunk. Journalists dress badly and get catty with each other. The Bush Administration doesn't like gay people.


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