Wonkette's Week in Review: Forget Britney, We Want First Lady Vajayjay

* We introduced Wonkette's War on Christmas Gift Guide. You'll never be bothered by Thank You cards again, -- especially if you choose the Cold War Unicorns or Freddy Krueger Gipper poster. Great for parents!


* In a bit of holiday magic, famous-for-DC senior administration officials Tony Snow and Dan Bartlett ridiculously transformed into anonymous Senior Administration Officials midway through a press briefing in Latvia.

* Jim Webb almost beat up the president over Iraq. George Will cares more about doilies than dead bodies.

* We celebrated National Meth Day by crushing and snorting Claritin and masturbating to Ted Haggard sermons.

* Mahmoud Ahmadinejad wrote us all a letter complimenting our hair, our government loyalty, and our choice to live so far from Iran. Fox News Fan "Mark" wasn't having it: "We are educated, unlike your nation, and will not be fooled by your big long educated words (that someone else told you what they mean because you obviously have no idea what they mean)."

* Did someone say crazies? Researchers followed psychotics through the voting process in 2004 and found a "correlation between the severity of a person's psychosis and their preferences for president. The more psychotic the voter, the more likely they were to vote for Bush," according to Bush's hometown newspaper.

* Only NY governor-elect Eliot Spitzer can get to the bottom of the Cheney Church's sex extortion of Sandra Day O'Connor ... according to Nadine, anyway.

* Dr. Senator Bill Frist decided not to run for president. Instead, he is returning to gorilla surgery.

* The Bush Twins caused chaos in the streets of Argentina as they celebrated their 25th birthdays. Barb got her her purse stolen and mobile stolen.Ultimately, the spoiled brats were kicked out of the country.

* Our Thanksgiving Edition of Last Week's Shots involved cousin banging, cocaine and black-people/watermelon jokes. We also brought you a very special update about modern romantic dilemmas such as announcing your secret-broken-condom problem on a forum the girl reads.

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