* Scooter Libby is guilty as charged for the crime of giving Joe Wilson a reason to run his mouth incessantly since 2003.
* Lucky Libby will now be lifting weights and reading the Qu'ran for the next 24 months.
* Unless President Bush has a big enough heart or big enough balls to pardon him.
* Which is doubtful since El Presidente doesn't even have support from the slave-driving, virgin-sacrificing community.
* The rotting soul of 21st century American makes evil triumph over good.
* Choke it down long enough to get hired as Michele Bachmann's nubile office boy, and we'll have a shoulder ready for the existential crisis that's sure to follow.
* Condoleezza Rice: coming soon to a Vice Presidential mansion near you.
* Honor former Vice President Cheney by shooting someone in the face, because, hey, you can.