Wonkette's Week in Review: XXX: The Suffix and the Vitamin Water

* The world gathered around YouTube to "Look at him move, doing the rapping dance. That's true, he's a dancing resident. He is a sidekick to the president." What is his name? MC Rove! Thousands of cats and gerbils were subsequently renamed. Wonkette commenter Cogito Ergo Bibo asked: "Where's Kanye West when you need him?"


* Jim Webb hired a Marine to wander around the Russell Senate Office building reenacting Wolfenstein 3-D. The pistol was unregistered, illegal and that's between Webb and his boy, Mr. President.

* Attorney General Gonzales has real problems now, problems in the form of TEEN GAY SEX RAPE. Sometimes he sings to the boys from An American Tail: Fievel Goes West and sometimes he just inserts his finger up to the knuckle.

* Smithsonian Secretary Lawrence M. Small resigned after getting caught stealing in the ballpark of $2 million dollars. He's since been seen roaming around the National Zoo, calling for Butterstick and singing from An American Tail: Fievel Goes West.

* Someone replaced the Google Map satellite images of the Gulf Coast with dressing up like Jaclyn Smith, Charlie.

* Iran to release woman sailor while the men (worth two women each) will remain in custody until Bush says "I'm not touching you" one time too many.

* According to The Hill, the Rock & Roll Hotel is haunted by a sinking feeling that rock & roll was killed in 1993 by a Smashing Pumpkins record.

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