Wonkette's Weekly Top 10 Is A Gas, Gas, Gas

Weekly Top Ten

Donna Rose or Audrey Hepburn, only her doctor knows for sure

Good morning, Wonk friends. Good to see you're all in your places with bright shiny faces. My little brother thinks this is the best week in the history of the world, and that Attention will finally be Paid. He thinks this is it; that we are the change, we waited for us, and it's HERE. I vacillate: pride, hope, fear, TERROR. I'm not good at prognosticating. I don't know what's coming next or ever. But here we are, and we're together, and I love you. NOW STORIES.

If I had to guess who picked this week's top 10 stories, I'd go with "Robyn and Evan, by cheating," probs.


10. That Sh*thead Is Talking. A Liveblog! The shithead was talking! Evan did liveblog!

9. President Of The United States Threatens To Use 'Vicious Dogs' And 'Ominous Weapons' On Protesters. Of course he did, Robyn, or don't you understand LAW & ORDER (dun dun).

8. Why Did The Chickensh*t Cross The Road? To hold a Bible upside down, Evan, it is like you already knew the answer when you wrote the post!

7. President Addresses Nation On Police Reform. No, A Real President. Hiiii Barack Obama, hiiiiii. Hiiii Evan, hiiii.

6. Amnesty International Would Like The United States To Demilitarize Its Cops, Please. All in favor say aye, Robyn.

5. Facebook Factcheck: Fred Trump Didn't Go To That KKK Rally, He Simply Refused To Leave! Hey, a post by me! Whoever's in charge of the judging around here never picks me, because they are RUDE.

4. Perfect Christian 'Ex-Lesbian' Says Coronavirus A Blessing From Jesus, Because Here's Why. This lady was nowhere close to the craziest thing this week. But if Evan's picking ....

3. Is Tom Cotton A Fascist Or Just Really F*ckin' Dumb? Yep. Also Evan.

2. Good For This Company Selling 5G Conspiracy Theorists Magic $350 USB Keys. Robyn ready to get her grift on her own self.

1. Something Is Definitely Up With All The White People Doing Vandalism At The George Floyd Protests. And Robyn (and the world) went nuts for this post by Robyn!

See what I meant?

There, now you have read the top 10 Wonkette stories of the week as chosen by Evan and Robyn while cheating probably. After you get your donation widget because Wonkette runs entirely on the support of our readers, who collectively make up a good sized city and really should be able to keep one tiny mommyblog going, honestly,

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you may have another photo. This is Donna Rose with her self-portrait in motorcar attending a confetti party.

The end.


Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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