Wonkette's Weekly Top 10 Is I VOTED

Weekly Top Ten

Who's ready for a nice, relaxing, stay home and do nothing kind of day weekend month decade? Me too! Please enjoy these top 10 stories of the week, as chosen by a MAJORITY of AMERICAN VOTERS.


10. Keep Calm And Remember What Kind Of Clownass Idiots We're Dealing With. Some clownass idiots all right. Hey, did you see that Trump's legal team is 1 and 14 at last count? I did too. LOL losers.

9. Good Christ This Has Been Exhausting. Still exhausted, Dok, hows about you?

8. Wingnuts Now Ready For Us To Throw Them In The Gulags, As We Have So Long Dreamed. Robyn, I really think this is more of a "them" thing.

7. This Week's Sunday Show Rundown Is About WE WON! It's true, Michael, WE DID!

6. President-Elect Biden Not Surprised Trump And Pompeo Being Low-Rent Fascists, Just Disappointed. Evan is disappointed too, just kidding, you think it would be fun for him if they were classy?

5. QAnon People Still 'Trusting The Plan,' Mastering The Denial Stage Of The Grieving Process. Oh well, guess the baby-eaters won, sucks to be the QAnon people!

4. Ready Your Champagne And/Or Ice Cream Cones And Watch Biden's Acceptance Speech With Us! And you did!

3. Santorum: Trump Will Concede If Certain 'Conditions' Are Met, Probably Involving A Getaway Plane. CNN, can we stop with him now? Pleeeeeeease?

2. Can We PLEASE Close The Deal Today? Election Results Liveblog, Day Three! Spoiler: We could not!

1. OK An Actual Friday Election Results Liveblog Because We Wouldn't Wanna Mess With Last One's Perfection. Decision Desk HQ called it early Friday morning, and we wrote a quarter-ass post about that, and then we had to keep posting. SO RUDE!

And there you have it, this week's top 10 stories as chosen by a MAJORITY of AMERICAN VOTERS. Not a plurality. Not even a Bill Clinton-style one-third! (Thank you again, Ross Perot!) A fucking MAJORITY, tell you what!

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And now you good folk may have TWO baby pictures, because that is how many I have.


OK bye bye!

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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