Wonkette's Weekly Top Ten: Sleeping In Or Inly Sleeping?
HELLO! GOOD MORNING! IT IS SATURDAY! Whatcha gonna do today? Fuck off? Cool. Below are your top 10 stories of the week, as chosen by an actually of explaining men.
10. Insider-Trading Disney Villain Kelly Loeffler Will Lose Her Senate Seat In Either November Or January. SER brings you your FIRST good news today!
9. Too Late, Martha McSally Discovers Standing By Her Man Donald Trump Was A Really Stupid Idea. Liz brings you your second!
8. Why Harry Styles Was Called A 'Consent King' By A Model From 'Watermelon Sugar.' Tabs, Wed., May 20, 2020. There is absolutely no reason a tabs should have been in the top 10. Did I trick a bunch of faceplacers with the Buzzfeed Harry Styles hed? Should I put Harry Styles on all of them? On a scale of one to LOL, were they so Steve Doocy confused?
7. Very Cool 'MAGA Life Coach' Says MASKS Are For DORKS, And He Is NOT DORK, OK? This is another of Evan's perfect posts.
6. Pastor Tony Spell Off House Arrest, Won't Comply With Orders Until He Can Ice Skate On Fire. Robyn is never going to leave this poor pastor alone.
5. Flat-Earther Lady Tries To Use Sovereign Citizen Meme Logic To Get Out Of Wearing Mask, Fails. Robyn spotted the first Karen to do this. There have been so many videos of so many Karens since. They really think someone will be as stupid as they are!
4. He Calls It The 'Super Duper Missile,' Because That's Just What It Is. It just is, okay?
1. Susan Collins Is Concerned, And That Can Only Mean One Thing. WHAT DID IT MEAN ROBYN? WHAT????
Oh right, nothing!
Those have been your top 10 stories this week! Click the clickie to keep your Wonkette going forever, if you are able, and after that you can have pictures of the world's loneliest princess in her bedroom we painted last weekend and it looks fucking amazing because we watched a Martha Stewart video and almost did what she said. If you would like to money us through the mail — we will send you a handwrote thank you eventually! — our address is
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Or if you like presents, you can do our Patreon, which I keep forgetting to do cheery little updates for, I should make SER do that maybe, he is good at stuff and things. Now WE ARE GOING TO PAINT! (The living room, which needs to be red.) And do thank you notes. Maybe even the handwrote ones we're epically behind on! And other work. I'm so tired.
I should take some pictures of her barbies she's colored CRAZY PUNK/KISS/MAD MAX MAKEUP all over, you will like them. Another time! That's it! Get out! Smell you later! Goodbye!
Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.