WonkiFact: Yep, Rick Scott Delayed Execution For Attorney General's Campaign Schedule


During the second, fan-free debate between former Florida Gov. Charlie Crist* and current Gov. Rick Scott (R-Malfoy Manor) Tuesday night, the accusations flew hot and heavy. One of the more notable exchanges involved the question of whether Gov. Voldemort knowingly delayed a prisoner's execution last year so it wouldn't conflict with a campaign event being held by his attorney general, Pam Bondi.

Instead of saying whether he knew that Bondi had requested him to reschedule the execution of convicted murderer Marshall Lee Gore so she could hold her big campaign launch party, Scott repeatedly said only that Bondi had apologized for doing that, so no harm, no foul. She made a mistake and she's sorry, and nunyabinniss what Scott knew or when he knew it. As one of our brilliant commenters noted, he certainly wasn't the first Gore to be arbitrarily put down by the State of Florida.

The debate fireworks started when the moderator asked Crist about the rescheduling, and whether he thought it indicated that Scott took executions lightly. (Of course it does! It is a point of pride for Republican governors to execute people quickly and frequently, ideally with a quip: "Please don't kiiiiiiill me.")

Crist hit Scott on the delay, saying, “Just this past year, an execution here in Florida was delayed by the governor so the attorney general could go forward and have a political fundraiser…to me and my way of thinking, that doesn’t sound like someone is taking that solemn duty as seriously as they should.”

Scott shot back, arguing that Crist “doesn’t know all the facts.” Crist, however, did not let it go, asking Scott repeatedly to explain what happened. “I asked him a simple question. Did the Attorney General ask you to delay the execution so she could go forward with her political fundraiser?” he asked.

“She asked me to delay it because it didn’t work on the dates that she thought it was going to be on,” Scott said. When Crist continued to push, Scott repeated “she apologized” four times, asking Crist “What would you like her to do?”

As it happens, Yr Wonkette covered that story last fall when it happened, and we aren't sure whether we should give Gov. Scott a "Mostly True-ish" or a "Pinnochio on Fire" for that answer, because it was such a thoroughly non-answer answer. Bondi definitely did ask for the execution to be delayed, and Scott definitely arranged the rescheduling. As the Tampa Bay Times reported at the time, Scott said he didn't know the reason for Bondi's request, but on the other hand, he also refused last year to say whether he thought that a campaign fundraiser was a terrific reason to delay killing a guy. He simply said, "When another Cabinet officer asks for something, we try to work with them," and left it at that.

So really, while Rick Scott remains a slimy Gollumesque freak who won't give a straight answer to a question, he was only slightly more evasive in the debate than he was last year. To be completely consistent with his earlier position, he could have said that he didn't know Bondi's reason for asking for a delay, but we don't know whether trying to avoid saying "I didn't know" again actually counts as a lie.

Also too, as we said last year:

[The] real outrage here is that the state’s machinery of death was slowed down by a trivial reason, not that the state has machinery of death. We need to be serious and dignified about killing evildoers, after all, and it’s very unseemly to let politics intrude on the completely apolitical business of executing people.

We therefore award Rick Scott a WonkiFact score of "Eggplant" and politely demand that he take immediate measures to prevent his face from haunting the terrified nightmares of small children.

*To the person who arrived at our fair blog with the interweb search "Is Charlie Christ a homo?" we are sorry we do not have the answer for you. Also, who is Charlie Christ and is he related to Jesus?


Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Image: Marriott Hotels

Great GOP wordsmith Frank Luntz, the guy who gave us the "death tax" and who urged the George W. Bush administration to talk about "climate change" since it was less politically motivating than "global warming," did some more of his characteristic word magic today! While staying at the Hotel Imperial in Vienna, Austria, Luntz offered this cautionary tale about the evils of socialism, as illustrated by the shoddy conditions in a 5-star luxury hotel owned by Dubai's "Al Habtoor" conglomerate and operated by Marriott:

Talk about your grim hellholes! Apparently, there's only one elevator in the entire building, and it's been broken for three days, proving that European-style socialism is a failure that should never be imported to the USA, where -- damn it! -- all buildings work!

As some smartass pointed out, now Luntz may have to take the STAIRS, like a common Bolshevik!

We're still trying to get our heads around how a delay in getting an elevator fixed in a luxury hotel owned by the United Arab Emirati proprietors of Dubai's

  • Habtoor Grand Resort
  • Waldorf Astoria Dubai Palm Jumeirah
  • Habtoor Palace, LXR Hotels & Resorts
  • V Hotel, Curio Collection by Hilton
  • Hilton Dubai Al Habtoor City
  • Metropolitan Hotel Dubai
  • Al Habtoor Polo Resort

as well as

  • Imperial Hotel, a Luxury Collection Hotel, Vienna (Austria)
  • Hilton London Wembley (United Kingdom)
  • Hilton Beirut Habtoor Grand (Lebanon)
  • Hilton Beirut Metropolitan Palace (Lebanon)
  • President Abraham Lincoln Springfield – a DoubleTree by Hilton Hotel (United States)
  • InterContinental Budapest (Hungary)
  • The Ritz-Carlton, Budapest (Hungary)

is an example of the horrors of socialism, but then, we don't earn the big bucks like Luntz does. Austria is among the 14 richest countries in the world, so we're fairly certain it's not a commie hellhole. Then again, there is a very strong social safety net, so maybe people in subsidized housing stole all the elevator parts. Or perhaps the elevator would have been fixed sooner if only Austria didn't have such strong unions. It's a mystery.

Or maybe it's that NATIONAL socialism that's the problem, seeing as it has socialism RIGHT IN THE NAME!

Adolf Hitler, once a day labourer outside the Hotel Imperial Vienna, returned as the Führer and "delivered a speech to a rapturous crowd from [the hotel] suite's balcony, on 14 March 1938", according to

We suppose it's worth noting that the Imperial is decidedly not owned or operated by the Austrian government, where a far-Right coalition has recently imploded -- although maybe Luntz is confused about that, since official state guests are traditionally housed there. In any case, the elevator's busted, it's in Europe, Europe is socialist, and Frank Luntz is homesick for America, where no elevator ever goes unrepaired for an entire weekend. It simply has never happened because of our efficient free market!

Still, Luntz's tweet inspired some valuable reflections on how economic theory shapes the reality of everyday life. This is the kind of Austrian economics we can support.

In conclusion, capitalism always allocates resources efficiently and fairly, although that still doesn't explain why Frank Luntz has a job. And now it would be your DOKTOR ZOOM'S BIRTHDAY PARTY OPEN THREAD, if only the socialists would fix the elevator, the end.

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