What could make the next eight months interesting?
- Allow Donald Trump to select the vice president via a series of mock-governing contests. (Omarosa's "White House" experience will finally come in handy!)
- John Kerry must deliver the rest of his speeches wearing funny clown shoes. Bush has to wear a tiara.
- Invade something.
- After each remaining primary, Kerry gets to have sex with an intern. . . selected by television viewers!
- Seriously, who wants to give Dick Cheney a heart attack?
- Was: Presidential debates. Is: Presidential debates. . . on ice!
- Trading Spaces: Wackiness ensues when the Kerrys and the Bushes exchange residences for a weekend. ("I hope they don't do anything to Blue Room," mutters Laura.)
- Sharpton v. Bumiller: This time, it's personal.